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Why You Can’t Get Over Your Ex & How To Move On

by | Meeting People, Moving On

Oct 13, 2020

In this article, we will explore why it can be so difficult to move on from an ex-partner and provide some practical advice on how to do so. We cover the reasons behind attachment, how it impacts our ability to let go and offer tips on how to heal and move on towards a happier, healthier future.

1. Not Enough Time Has Passed

In a culture that has standardized the happy face and has little compassion to handle individuals battling with life, it is not difficult to persuade yourself that you should be over the person in question effectively, regardless of whether the separation just happened in less than a couple of months.

This is wrong! Know that there is no timetable for grief. One individual may cry and hurt, then feel okay in less than a month, and someone else will require five months or longer to deal with the agony of separation.

You may feel that there has been “a lot of time” for your heart to recuperate, but this isn’t applicable to everyone. You need additional time than you might suspect, particularly if the relationship lasted for quite a while.

All things considered, there are lots of habits and routines that we create while intimately seeing someone. When we move out of these patterns and thrust into an alternate circumstance, it tends to be difficult to change. It’s practically similar to losing a piece of ourselves. Take it easy on yourself!

2. You Feel You’ll Never Find Somebody Else

A regular sentiment of people who leave a relationship without wanting to is that they may never find someone else like their partner. This is a valid reason because your partner, just like you and every other person on earth, is a unique individual. So, there’s nobody else who is exactly similar to that person.

Notwithstanding, this doesn’t mean that you won’t find somebody who is similarly compatible or much more suitable for you. After all, if your ex were actually that suitable or ideal for you, you wouldn’t have separated! Remember that if they had stayed with you out of a feeling of obligation or something, a one-sided relationship is not emotionally ideal.

3. You Didn’t Get Closure

People fixate on their exes for different reasons, and that includes the reality that you’re probably not going to get any closure.

The truth is, when somebody hurts you, you will not like any of the reasons it occurred. So, trying hard to get clarification won’t help you in the long run. It’s best to let it go.

Read: Things You Shouldn’t Do After A Breakup

4. You Are Afraid Of Being Alone

If being separated from your lover is distressing for you, then there are some self-esteem issues you have to address first. Try being single for some time to work it out. Try to talk to a friend or even think about seeing a therapist regarding these issues.

You won’t be alluring to the right individuals when you’re needy, so abstain from attempting to ease the pain with another person. When you come to terms with being separated from your partner, you will attract the right people for you because you will know what to look out for.

5. Your Environment Reminds You of Your Ex

Sometimes, you truly need to start all over again. This is true if your lives are related to each other. After all, each insignificant detail will remind you of your patterns and routines with your ex.

It would be best if you tried changing your social circle or taking up hobbies. This would be the ideal opportunity to practice being single. The less you see them, the easier you can move on.

6. Your Ex Played Valuable Roles in Your Life

Did you function better with your ex? Did you each have roles in the relationship, or are you codependent? Were there things that your ex just took care of for you that now you wind up taking care of all alone?

If this is the trigger, take a step back and reconsider things. Your ex may have been valuable, but that doesn’t mean you should be with them.

You’re most likely not going to fill each role they played in your life, but you can help yourself out by making things easier. Try not to fill each role or look for another person that can replace them. Things will work themselves out with time.

Read: 15 Simple Ways to Make Your Man Happy

7. There’s Still Communication

Does your ex continue to contact you although you’re struggling to recuperate from the separation? Make it clear to them that you need some time alone.

If you can’t avoid seeing your ex and interacting with them, that may be what’s keeping you from letting go.

Try to lessen the contacts as much as possible. If there’s no plausible explanation of why your ex calls or messages you, it might be the right time to make the boundaries understood.

And if you are the one in correspondence with your ex because of some reason, this makes it much harder to move on. If you still talk or text them regularly and or stalk their social media platforms, you will merely make things harder on yourself. As excruciating as it might be for you, you need to cut those ties and allow yourself to heal.

8. You Feel Guilty or Blame Them For The Separation

Depending on how the separation went down, you may blame your ex for cutting off the relationship and clutching onto those negative sentiments.

But if you broke things off, you may feel regretful for ending things the way you did, and maybe while thinking back on it, you realize that you ended things too fast or that you didn’t allow them to amend what they did wrong.

Along these lines, you start to feel regretful and begin to romanticize the relationship more than you should, which springs a sizeable amount of different issues. Try to concentrate your emotions on other positive things instead and fill your days with activities that do not include them.

Comprehend that things turned out badly and that the relationship needed to end. Accepting how the circumstance unfurled is significant for moving on. You presumably realized that things were not working out right before the separation, so normally, the relationship had to end.

Bottom Line

All in all, stop fretting over the future. You need to relinquish the past. It would help if you accepted the unknown the future brings. It’s alright if you don’t have a plan or arrangement to move forward. Simply

let go of the past because it no longer matches who you are as a person. New things that complement your life better will come into your life.

If you feel depressed after the separation, note that it is only natural to feel sad after a relationship fails; however, if those sentiments linger for too long or are too strong, seeing a therapist might be the right course of action.

By Allison E.

Allison E. is the Head and Editor at Whatsdalatest. He enhances brand awareness and the communication process. He enjoys writing useful content and inspiring people to become the best versions of themselves.

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