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Why Do I think so Much About Her?

by | Love and Romance

Jan 17, 2022

Do you always think about her? Are you having trouble getting her out of your mind? Most of us know what it’s like to think about someone, especially when we have no serious commitment.

Why It Matters

It is wearing you out and making you anxious. 

What Would You Do

Imagine this: Halim has been best friends with Gloria since they were kids. They grew up in the same neighborhood and attended the same high school, university, and they currently work in the same town.

Ten months ago, Gloria got another job, a better one, that required her to relocate to another country and so had to move. 

Before she left, she promised Halim again that she would reach out to him as often as possible in the airport this time. She also said she would give him tabs on how she is faring and keep their friendship going.

But she seems to be failing to do this these days. It’s been two months since Halim heard from Gloria. He finds himself thinking a lot about her, worrying if their friendship is breaking. 

If you were Halim, what would you do?

You Have a Right to Feel

All healthy people show emotions. We all miss someone at least once in our lives. We miss them because we crave their presence and attention, both of which mean a lot to us.

Children cry when their parents leave for work. Many parents feel some way when their children leave home for the first time. 

Do not hate yourself or think that you are unhealthy because you feel the way you feel about whoever is on your mind. You are not. You’re only processing a normal human emotion.

It only becomes an issue when it turns into obsession, interfering with your daily mental and physical activities.

Understand That Things Happen For a Reason

When someone leaves you, it helps to understand that in life, things happen for a reason. 

This understanding gives you closure and clears out your anxiety. 

Realize that your friend is away because she has to get something done.

Your friend is probably doing just fine wherever she is, and she most probably has been thinking about you. In fact, she may have thought about you today. 

Be Hopeful While Also Preparing For The Worst

When you miss someone, don’t only focus on the things that could go wrong. Be hopeful. Think about all the times that you both spent together, all the fun times, and hope that you will get to spend more time in the future. 

Also, realize that things may not always go the way we want them to. Sometimes, things take the wrong turn. We ought to prepare ourselves for this by building mental strength and capacity. 

Occupy Yourself

When we are alone and occupied, we are more open to anxiety and worrisome thoughts. 

Do not just sit in a chair or lie in a bed all day, doing nothing. 

Get busy with something you love doing. If you love to cycle, take your bike out in the evenings and cycle. 

If you love to play the piano, then do so. Create a healthy habit that takes your mind away from your worries.

Hang Out With Your Friends

Don’t seclude yourself. Hang around people who give you support and positive energy. You are never alone, even when you struggle with thoughts that are overpowering. 

Speak to someone if you feel the need to. 

Reach Out to Her

Call her. Text her. Perhaps, talking to her will ease your feelings a bit. 

Action Plan

How can I embrace my feelings? How can I develop healthy habits? Should I start hanging out with people often? If someone asks for my advice, will I be able to give them advice?

Photo by Simeon Jacobson on Unsplash

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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