QuietYearning Logo Light

About Us

Contact Us

Sign Up

Why Your Girlfriend Refuses To Have Sex

by | Love

Aug 5, 2023

This article explores a subject that isn’t talked about often. We know, however, that it is an issue that impacts both men and women in their relationships, and so we are choosing to let you in on all we know about sexual decline. I will be showing you why she refuses to have sex and what you can do about it. 

5 Reasons She Refuses to Have Sex

1. Her Attraction is Waning: When her attraction towards you starts to wane, one of the first aspects of your relationship to take a hit is going to be your sex life.

A woman who is attracted to her man usually wants to be with him all the time. If she isn’t having sex with him, then she is sharing a kiss or simply just touching him sensually. 

In many ways, her kissing you less is more of an issue than her refusing to have sex with you. Women kiss men they love. If she is not kissing you, then something is wrong. 

2. She is Cheating: This is another common reason why a decline in sex happens. 

Cheating is tough work. It has emotional as well as physical consequences. Let us take a quick look at the physical aspect. A woman who is having sex with more than one man is going to feel drained by it. 

She is usually going to feel physically drained when she has to please both men several times over in the course of days or weeks. 

Has your woman ever rejected sex with you because she felt ‘sore’? Then it is likely she just cheated on you. 

The rule of thumb is that a woman who cheats will be very tired. She will move the other way when you try to touch her and give you all sorts of excuses. 

3. She is Genuinely Stressed Out: Women can be genuinely stressed out. I don’t think many men realize this. It is why men often make it about themselves when their woman refuses to have sex. They begin to think all sorts of stuff, presuming things that further damage the relationship and make her interest in sex wane. 

How is her work schedule? If it is truly busy, then it is best to give her some space, at least for now, as she deals with her stressor. 

Do not try to initiate sex for the time being. If there are no improvements, then it might be time to talk. 

Read: How to Make Her Feel Sexual Pleasure

4. She is Not Feeling It: When she is not feeling sex with you, of course, she will reject your advances and won’t want to have sex with you. And even when she does oblige to having sex, it will feel so wrong. 

Have you ever had sex with your partner and didn’t feel like it was anything close to good, then she most likely was not feeling you? 

I will tell you what to do about this soon. If you do not work fast to get her to love sex with you again, things are going to enter a state I call: “Steady decline.” 

5. She is Mad At You: It is true that women can say no to sex as a means to punish their partners when things are not going so smoothly. If she is mad at you, she will say no to sex most of the time, especially if she is the kind to manipulate you. 

You may think that apologizing is the right thing to do. But I will tell you this: it is not. In matters of desire, it is often better to go for what seems rather counter-intuitive. 

What to Do if She Won’t Have Sex

1. Take Away the Stressor: What is stressing her out? Have you ever thought about that? You should. If you want to fix the dead bedroom and want sex to happen more, you have got to remove whatever is stressing her. 

Is it the chores at home? If it is, then it may help to do some. Is it her job? Help her deal with it. 

Men who help their women relax, who bring these women into comfort, get the best version of their women. Women like comfort and will often tilt toward who brings it to them.

Read: 10 Sexiest Fun Games to Play in Bed and Out

2. Don’t Make it About You: Men often make the mistake that having sex is about them. But the truth is, sex is as much about her as it is about you. 

Women hate to have sex with men who are somewhat selfish. It is such a turn-off, as it makes them feel unloved. It makes them feel as though they are only objects of sexual pleasure. 

No woman is an object of sexual pleasure to another man: no woman is to be used for sex. 

Make sex more about you both, and watch the sex become better. 

3. Become More Attractive: And I mean physically this time. It is likely the reason she has lost attraction for you is because you are now out of shape, not the man she had fallen in love with. 

This is usually the case for a lot of men. Don’t be that guy. It never helps. Get your body back in shape. Get things working for you again. Become better and happier. You may even want to hit the gym and become attractive to other women. 

Your woman is going to feel a lot more attracted to you when other women start to find you attractive. 

4. Attraction Grows in Space: You may have to give her space when you are trying to get her to be more attracted to you. 

Attraction, unlike love, grows in space and absence. You may have to stay away from her for a while, and please, do not try to initiate sex if she puts off your advances more than three times in a row. 

Just let her be for now, and she will come to you when she wants you. 

Read: 10 Fitness Exercises for a Better Sex Life


When she is saying no to sex, she is communicating with you. You just have to listen.

By Martin Corden

Martin Corden is a certified relationship expert and a songwriter from Australia. He loves researching and writing. Martin loves finding new ways to improve and inspires others to be their best version and work together towards it. Martin has a wide range of intellectual and artistic interests.

Read Next

How to make a girl jealous
How to make a girl jealous

Jealousy has always been one of the best tricks to revive attraction, and hold this attraction so high your partner thinks of nothing else but you and the relationship you both share together. Sounds easy, but it actually isn't so easy. A lot of people miss it with...

How to fix a sexually bored man
How to fix a sexually bored man

Yes, even men can be bored of sex. It happens far more often than we imagine, and many women are quick to dismiss signs of boredom from a man as him being far from them or as him seeking a reason to cheat. This is not the case a lot of the time. Men get sexually bored...

What to do when he begins to lose interest
What to do when he begins to lose interest

Interest wanes every now and then in most relationships, even healthy ones. This is because interest is fickle. It comes and it goes and depends a lot on the conditions at that moment. I'll explain this later on in this article as I go on to show you what to do when...

How to Lead a Woman
How to Lead a Woman

Women love to be led. This is something men don't understand fully. What many women hate and kick against is being subdued and defeated or controlled. While a controlling man will almost always miss it with women, a man who can lead will be such a great source of...

6 Subtle Signs That a Girl is Stalking You
6 Subtle Signs That a Girl is Stalking You

Do women stalk, too? The answer is yes. And I have reason to believe women stalk far more than men and better. Once, a woman told me that she goes into detective mode when she is stalking her guy. She said she could figure out half of the things he was hiding in just...

Subscribe to our newsletter

Thanks for subscribing!

Pin It on Pinterest