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What To Do When She Rarely Calls You

by | Love and Romance

Jul 5, 2024

If your girlfriend or fiancé seldom calls you, you’ve landed on the perfect article to help you out of this. This article is written from the experiences of other men like yourself, suggesting all the right things to do when your girlfriend rarely calls you.

1. Find out why

Too many guys complain that they barely get any calls from their girlfriends. This is often very confusing for them. They keep wondering why it happens. Sometimes, they don’t even try to find out. They’re already too anxious that the relationship is about to meet its end, or that the girlfriend is seeing someone else. 

Many times, these worries are often just lies your anxiety tells you. 

The first thing to do when you notice your girlfriend rarely calls you is to find out why. Try to know why exactly it is happening. That will direct your next moves and keep you from making mistakes. 

Some of the many reasons why your girlfriend might rarely call you include:

She doesn’t like calls:

This is something a lot of guys fail to realize. Sometimes, when a woman acts, it has nothing to do with you. Women have their own minds and accept or avoid certain situations because of their own feelings. 

If she calls you rarely, it may be because she doesn’t like calls that much. I know a lot of women with phone call anxiety. This is just the way it is for them. Calls don’t make them feel great. 

Oksana tells me: “When my phone beeps, I immediately feel uneasy. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but it scares me and makes me feel like I just have to be away from the phone for a while.”

Read: What it means when she pouts her lips

She barely has the time to call:

As much as you may want to deny it, she may be too busy to take or make phone calls. You know this is the case if she makes an extra effort to text you during the day. 

I once dated a woman who never called me. She worked on a plane. She never had the time to call. But every now and then, she would drop a text just to let me know she was safe and happy. This made things a lot easier for me and removed the notion that she may have been cheating. 

If she makes an extra effort to contact you even though she doesn’t call that much, then you must realize that she justdoesn’t call you so often because she doesn’t have the time. 

Phone calls with you are boring:

This is where you come in. A lot of men will deny it, but way too many of them are very boring over the phone. 

Alice says: “I don’t know why it is that way but my boyfriend is quite boring over the phone. The opposite happens when I am texting him. He is very great to text but very annoying to call. This makes calling him very hard. Sometimes he complains and I don’t know how to tell him.”

You know she thinks you are boring over the phone when she makes an effort to text you more than she calls you. 

Yomi says: “I realized I was boring over the phone when one evening I called my girlfriend and she said: ‘Hey, baby, can I please text you instead? I like it more when we text.’.”

If your woman has told you something like that before, then you know just what you should do. 

She is losing attraction:

The truth is that women like to talk to men they admire. That’s just it. If a woman is not talking to you, she is losing attraction to you and is trying to detach. 

This is especially true if she is also not talking to you via other means like texts or snaps. 

Once you notice a break in contact, you should know that attraction is leaving. 

You can conclude this to be true if this person you are talking about had once really loved to talk to you over the phone. Then, one day, they lost that interest. 

Attraction can happen for a number of reasons, but some of the most common I see include: there is someone else, you are losing your masculine frame, you are cheating, and she knows. 

A woman will often distance herself from a man who is cheating on her without even confronting him about it. This is most true if she has made up her mind to leave the relationship. She would leave in an unceremonial way and will never come back. 

She will also lose attraction if there is someone else who can excite her more. Women like to be excited. They like their emotions stroked, sort of the way a man likes to see his ego stroked. 

If you no longer excite her, and there happens to be someone out there who does a good job exciting her, she is going togravitate towards him, and as a result, there will be a space in your relationship with her. 

Read: When Does It Mean When She Licks Her Lips

She is going through something:

A woman may also not call you much if she is going through something. I know when my woman is going through something tough. She just distances herself and lets me try to figure out what is happening. 

That is usually the first part of fixing things. 

Many men don’t know this, but when it comes to women, asking questions is the first part of fixing things. If you can justsay: “Hey, I noticed that you don’t call me so often anymore. I am trying to figure out what is wrong. Did I do something to offend you, or are you going through something?” Then you have fixed more than half of the problem. 

Don’t rush her. Let her come to tell you what is wrong at her own pace. 

2. Fix any pending issues

After you have tried to find out what is wrong and why she is not calling you so much, the next thing to do is try as much as you can to fix any issues. 

If she admits to having been trying to get your attention or show you how displeased she is about something you have done, you may want to apologize to her. 

Let her know you value talking to her and enjoy your sessions over the phone. 

She is surely going to call you a lot more after this. 

3. Become more interesting

It is really helpful to learn how to speak over the phone. Women really love interesting men. And men who can learn to be interesting and entertaining will be loved by women. 

If she is only bent on texting you and doesn’t want to call, then you know you have some work-building personality and fun over phone calls. 

You may want to check an article we put up about being more fun on the phone. It has all the details you need. But in the meantime, a tip that will not fail you is this: become a great storyteller. Good storytellers have the best phone experiences. 

Your woman is not calling you a lot because she knows what a good story over the phone should sound like, and you don’t tell her that. 

Read: Do Guys Know When They Have Met The One?

4. Build attraction again

If she is not calling you because her attraction towards you has waned even a little, it may be time for you to build attraction again. 

Don’t think of attraction as love. While love grows in comfort, attraction grows in space and goes away when the ability to be apart from each other for a short period from time to time is lost. 

Build attraction by:

First, going no contact. I have found going no contact to be a near-perfect means to get a girl’s mind on you again. Don’t call her for a while. Don’t reach out to her. Let her be the one to reach out to you when she misses you for a while. Give her the space to miss you, is what I am saying. The more she misses you, the more she is going to want to call you. 

Second, become masculine again. She is losing attraction towards you because you’re no longer the masculine man she knew and was attracted to. You have gotten needy. You have gotten dependent on her calling you. 

You now seek her validation even when you should not. This has made her see you as weak.

Usually, when you sulk for a woman’s validation, she withdraws it. 

5. Call her

If you miss her so much, the best thing you can do is call her. This is going to be of good to her and to you. 

If she is one who doesn’t like calls so much, let her see how being on a phone call with someone you love is something you long for. 


If a woman is not calling you the way you would like, you should talk to her about it. 

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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