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What Makes a Good Boyfriend

by | Love

Jan 15, 2023

You may have the best intentions. But if you are doing the wrong stuff or skipping the good stuff, you will not strike her as the good boyfriend you hope to be. This is why you’ve got us. In this article, we help you become the good boyfriend you can be. Here is how to make a good boyfriend.

1. Don’t Hold Yourself Back

It all begins here. Do not hold back. Each and every one of us men has a lot of good inside us. 

There would be the perfect balance in love and in life if we found a way to let all that good out.

I understand that it might not be so easy, but let go. Do not try to hide or suppress your emotions and feelings. Doing so will only make you resent the relationship and, eventually, your partner. 

Let go. Allow your mind to dip itself into love. Savor its uniqueness. Not everyone has the chance to love. But you do. Don’t blow it up because you are scared. 

2. Be Vulnerable

It is often argued that men should not be vulnerable, as it makes them seem weak and unmanly. But vulnerability, ironically, is far from weakness. 

People who have learned to be vulnerable know that it takes so much strength to be vulnerable to their partners. And this is just the strength I want you to show. 

Be vulnerable to your girlfriend. Do this, and you are already two steps into becoming a good boyfriend. Tell her all there is to tell without holding back. Tell her about your mistakes and your fears. Of course, your best friend is your partner, and she will be willing to help you. 

3. Trust Your Woman

There is a saying that no relationship can survive without trust. This is true because the level of trust controls so much in any relationship. 

The extent to which you trust your partner is a reflection of how much you trust them. 

But trust does not come easy, especially when we have had bad experiences from trusting the wrong people. 

What, then, does a person do to build trust? 

Simple. Do the right stuff yourself and have the right intent without expecting anything in return. Tell yourself this: “Whether it goes wrong or not, I will trust my partner because it is the honorable thing to do.”

This will likely throw your brain into a session of questions and answers. But don’t fall for the temptation to trust. Trust her. 

Related: How To Build and Develop Trust In Your Relationship

4. A Good Boyfriend Does Not Cheat

I guess the point here is this: do honorable stuff, whether or not she is watching. Remember, the bulk of being a man is being honorable, and it does not take too much. 

Do not cheat on or lie to her. It is not worth it anyway. Just brings you into a hole of guilt and secrecy. This messes up your relationship right after messing with you. 

If you do not cheat on her, it will be easy for you to trust her not to cheat on you. In my experience, it is cheaters who find it so hard to trust their partners. 

5. Build Boundaries in Your Relationship With Other Women

Maybe more than men, women are jealous. And even though this jealousy may be a good thing sometimes, too much of it will mess up even the healthiest relationships if unchecked. 

This means you are encouraged to build boundaries with other women. You do not want your woman to feel insecure to the point where she starts to avoid you—no. 

Let her be able to stick around even if you are communicating with other women. 

Related: What Makes a Great Girlfriend?

6. Tease Her in a Healthy Way

Men are often encouraged to tease their women. In many ways, this is good advice. A good tease may annoy her, but it will also make her laugh. If done properly, it might even make her want to please you more. 

For example, if you say stuff like: “Honey, I thought your food was pretty salty, damn it. Did a pillar of salt enter the kitchen?” Say it in a very jovial way. 

If you both share a healthy sense of humor, she will most likely laugh about it, too, and promise to make a meal that will make you lick your spoon. 

My girlfriend will say something along the lines of: “Leave me alone. Come and cook if you can cook so well.” 

As she moves away, I will pull her into me, and we will laugh. 

7. A Good Boyfriend Compliment His Woman

Women love attention. This is true. But women only truly love attention when it is that of a man they love. So, give your woman loads of it. 

A good compliment will make her day, and eventually, do more than that. 

It will make her start to view you as a good boyfriend with whom she can truly be herself around. She will start to dress up more for you and try to please you.

8. A Good Boyfriend Respect His Girlfriend

When you respect your woman, and I mean truly, you automatically become a good boyfriend. This is because respect runs deep. It takes a lot to respect a person. 

To most women and men as well, respect is the perfect display of love.

Jane told us: “I just need to know he truly respects me. This is what makes the difference.” 

Try it out. Respect her and her choices for a week and see how amazing your relationship starts to get. 

9. A Good Boyfriend Corrects His Woman

A lot of men think that putting their woman on a pedestal makes them good. Ironically, it does not. Instead, it makes them appear weak and needy. It also makes the woman feel unsafe. 

We all feel safest around people who call our bad behavior out in a kind way, even though doing so momentarily makes us unhappy. 

You would never feel safe around someone who saw you walk towards a steep hole but refused to yell out. 

Correct your woman when she is behaving in a way that does not sit well with your values as a couple. Do this respectfully. 

Although she might fume and get angry, let it be. She will come around, and chances are, she will even thank you for standing up to her. 

I have had this happen to me a lot of times. 

“What was I thinking!?” Have you ever heard this before? We all have.

10. A Great Boyfriend Supports His Girlfriend

Your girlfriend is sure going to need your help sometimes. You may not be able to help all the time. This is understandable. But to the best of your ability, be there to support your girlfriend. Even when it feels like your support will make no difference, do support her. 

Sometimes, she may feel a bit too weird to ask for anything. In these moments, walk over to her and ask. “Would you need my help or something?”

11. Good Boyfriends Pay Attention

It is impossible for us humans to express everything that goes on in our heads. Sometimes, even our own moods are hard for us to define. 

Your girlfriend is no different. Sometimes, she feels things she isn’t able to really express. You may mistake this as her being grumpy and annoying. But wait. She is just conflicted, and in moments like this, all that is needed from you is that you pay attention. 

You may then be able to figure out what really bugs her. And when you do, she will feel loved and appreciated

It may stick in her mind for as long as possible. “My boyfriend truly gets me.”

12. Create a Healthy Space For Communication

One of the major distinguishing features between a good boyfriend and a bad one is how healthy the communication is. 

Some guys make it hard for their girlfriends to truly communicate with them. They do this by judging what she says, making her feel like she is a terrible person, cutting her halfway, and imposing their ideas on her. 

All these traits are abusive; trust me, you do not want this. 

You should be willing to listen to her until you both arrive at level plain. 

Read: 10 Types of Women Every Guy Can’t Resist

13. A Great Boyfriend Surprises His Woman

You ought to surprise your woman. This feels like a hidden rule every guy knows about. Women love surprises. You should leverage this love and surprise her as often as you see fit. Unsure how you can surprise her? Check out this article to see 20 ways to surprise your woman. 

14. Take Her Out

Yes, do fun stuff. Good boyfriends make sure the relationship does not become boring!

15. Make Sex Team Work

The last thing you want to do is be all about yourself in bed. This will make your girlfriend feel cheated, and she may even respond by resenting intimacy, avoiding it more and more.

Trust me; you don’t want to be there. 

So, as much as you can, be the good boyfriend you are meant to be, and make sure she enjoys getting down as much as you do. 


Good boyfriends show respect, love, and leadership qualities. 

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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