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What is the Interaction Phase?

by | Home, Meeting People, Moving On

Jun 10, 2024

The interaction phase is something we have mentioned a lot in our articles here on QuietYearning. At QuietYearning, we group romantic relationships into three main phases, each of which serves a very important function in ensuring the relationship stays solid. In this article, we explore the interaction phase in great detail. We explore what it is, the phases that fall under it.

What is the Interaction Phase

The interaction phase is the phase just before the seduction phase and is characterized by five sub-phases:

1. Attention

The interaction phase begins with attention. Many relationship experts believe the interaction phase begins when you have walked up to your new admirer and struck up a conversation. But it doesn’t. 

It begins with you, long before you even walk up to them and meet them.

The moment they get your attention, some form of interaction begins. You will agree with me that just before walking over to them, you have some form of mental dialogue. 

You create a scenario in your head and mentally interact with your perception of their personality. That is some form of interaction. The other party may not be aware of it, but it is some kind of interaction.

Read: How to Rizz Up a Girl

2. Primary contact

The interaction phase continues to cement when primary contact has happened. Primary contact usually involves awareness that there is something happening or about to happen. 

It is the primary contact when your crush first sees you. Or when you first notice that they may be staring at you. 

Primary contact is so important because a quick analysis happens here. Both you and the person with whom you may or may not go on to establish secondary contact with, try to access each other’s features and personality. 

When you first notice that a man is staring at you from the corner of the room, for example, you quickly do a couple of things. First, you look again to make sure you are safe and that he is not a creep. And then you look again to make sure he looks good. 

When you have confirmed that he does look good, you begin to test his personality with just your eyes. Without even talking to him, you can now tell if he is shy; if he is too bold and daring, etc. 

During primary contact, guys must make extra effort to be masculine. The more masculine energy you give, the more chances you have of getting past the interaction phase into the seduction phase. Which then leads into the relationship phase or romance phase.

3. Secondary contact

Secondary contact is a big aspect of the interaction phase. It is also called initiation. It is the moment the first physical interaction happens, to the phase where an emotional response is attained. 

One of the many distinguishing features between the seduction phase and the interaction phase is that, though they can happen simultaneously, the seduction phase is one that features a lot of emotional responses. 

In the interaction phase, there may not be a very big emotional response. 

During secondary contact, the man or the woman meets for the first time. They may talk about something. Anything. But they will spend most of their time together doing some figuring out. 

They will mentally explore questions like: Who is this person? Why do they look this way? Why are they here?

Usually, the interaction phase ends if the person being approached feels unsafe for any reason. It may be just a little inkling. But they will be sure to stop the interaction if their safety is threatened. 

Read: Simple Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart

4. Relaxation and trust

Just after the secondary interaction comes relaxation and trust if the man or woman proves themselves to be safe to be around. The relaxation and trust phase is one that comes very quickly or slowly. It all depends, really, on the level of safety the other person has and the level of ease you bring. 

During the interaction phase, it is important that one makes the effort to make the other person feel comfortable no matter what. 

Think of the last time you met someone in real life. You will agree that your first interaction comprised of everything we have mentioned here. At first, there was some primary contact. And then there was secondary contact. 

And then, somehow, you began to feel relaxed. This relaxation happened because you had an inkling in your gut to keep your defenses down. 

Menie tells us: “It feels like magic. You just find yourself feeling very comfortable around this person who had been a stranger two minutes ago. It is amazing how our emotions work, how they can give us a very strong sense of direction.” 

5. Let’s talk some other time (Yearning)

After the trust and relaxation come some kind of yearning. This often shows up as a request to meet some other time. It is usually the person who was hit on that allows this. And it is usually what marks a successful interaction phase. 

“Let’s talk some other time.” It is a less fancy way of saying: “You know what? I think you are a very interesting person. We should hang out some other time.”

Elena tells us: “Almost without exception when we agree to talk to someone some other time, it means they could pull the interaction phase perfectly. It is something a lot of men don’t know. We ask that we meet you or talk to you again. Then, welcome to the seduction phase.”

Read: How to properly execute the seduction phase

6. Primary seduction

The interaction phase usually becomes the seduction phase during primary seduction. Primary seduction happens when the first signs of emotional response show up, like missing a person. In fact, missing someone is usually the first emotion that shows up in any interaction. 

As you both talk to each other more, you come to enjoy each other’s company and form a bond. This bond demands that you stick together more and develop your relationship. 

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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