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10 Ways to Make Sex Quite Intense and Intimate

by | Love

Jun 27, 2022

Struggling to get the most out of your sex lives? In this article, I will be filling you in on 10 ways to make sex with your partner quite intense and intimate.

1. Remove Your Mental Barriers

Usually, when a person fails to enjoy the intensity of sex, it is because he or she has built mental barriers in his mind. 

These barriers vary from person to person. But, essentially, they are easy to identify. What do you worry about just before the sex begins? Something that makes you think: oh, not again. 

That is a mental barrier. Overcome it. Don’t be worried about how the sex will go. It’ll go fine. It always does when you do it right. 

Read: How to Get Multiple Orgasms with Your Partner

2. Help Your Partner Overcome Their Own Mental Barriers

Since sex is teamwork, a mental barrier in your partner is also going to affect the intensity of the sex. Help them overcome their barriers. 

If they have insecurities with how they perform, tell them it is fine, and you trust them to do great now. 

If it is an insecurity about their body, convince them that they look good. 

Many women have set up a mental barrier against unprotected sex, especially with men they aren’t married to. If she suggests that you use a condom, try not to convince her otherwise. 

3. Some Dirty Talking Before the Sex is Ideal

Sex should not be boring. The entire idea surrounding intense sex is tension. Create sexual tension before the sex, and it’ll be easy to sustain this tension during and after the sex. 

Talk to your partner. Tell them how much you are going to light up their world in a few minutes. Do so while maintaining eye contact. Let them be itching to get atop you. 

Read: 10 Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasm

4. Foreplay

You usually cannot take out good foreplay from intense sex. After building tension with your talking, you should add foreplay to it. 

It is possible for intense sex to just burst out of nothing. But, hey, it is best if it follows some kind of progression: a build-up, a spike, and then some kind of plateau phase. 

Foreplay is an essential part of the build-up. Start slow, and then progress more and more. 

Begin with French kisses and lots of smooching, then get right into the blowjob or head. Remember to be as into it as possible. 

5. The First Few Strokes Matter a Lot

Okay, this one is for men. 

Hey, I like to tell you guys that the first few strokes are usually everything. Let’s say the first ten. They either turn her on even more or turn her off completely. 

For example, if your first strokes are too hard and painful, this is going to create an emotional barrier in her mind. Plus, she will likely get sore faster. 

So, before penetration, make sure she is wet enough. If she has trouble getting wet, some lube is fine. In fact, lube is always fine. 

Read: 15 Signs the Spark in Your Relationship Has Gone

6. Rhythm is Everything

Usually, what comes to mind when the subject of intense sex is brought up, is rough sex. This isn’t completely correct. While rough sex can be intense for some couples, intense sex, in the real sense, doesn’t necessarily have to be rough.

Intense sex can be anything. Slow sex. A bit fast sex. Rough sex. What matters, really, is that you both find a way to sustain the emotions you feel while at it. 

This is where rhythm comes in. Like poetry, intense sex should have rhythm and pace. Go slow if you love going slow. Go a bit faster if that is what it takes.  

7. Create Lots of Tension by Teasing

People want stuff that is seemingly unavailable. They will try and try to keep getting this stuff, investing a lot of emotion in the process. 

To ensure the sex is quite intense, create a feeling of longing in your partner by teasing them as much as necessary. 

A teasing technique I specifically love is called edging. Here, you keep your partner from reaching orgasm at the height of it all. It is like setting them up. 

When you do this, they will reach into you more and sometimes even beg you to keep going. 

Read: 10 Signs Your Woman is Losing Attraction to You

8. Talk. Laugh

It is going to be a lot more intense if you talk to each other. And I mean expressive talks. Dirty talks. Talks with lots of eye contact. 

Tell your partner how much you love what you both are doing. Lean over and whisper into his ears. Tell them things you would do to them. 

Men love it much when women moan. So, moan. Loudly sometimes and quieter at other times. 

Make jokes too. When they are weird moments, laugh about them and keep going. This is a great way to bond over sex. 

9. Pay Attention

A lot of guys also miss it here. Sometimes, even women too. If you are going to have the intense sex you crave, you have to pay attention. 

You should be able to tell when your partner is feeling you the most. Listen to their moans. Watch how they squeeze their eyes shut or they pull the bedsheets.

Now, keep doing what made them feel that intense sensation. Focus on that area. 

Pay attention to yourself too. Be sure that you are into lovemaking as well. One-sided sex is always bad sex. If not for you, then for your partner. 

10. Orgasms

Many couples don’t know what to do during an orgasm. They barely know that it is during an orgasm that they will likely feel the most intense emotions and sensations. 

What happens when you orgasm? Well, you stay there and connect with your partner. Many women love it when guys remain in them for a while when they cum (sorry, you can’t do this if you are using the pull-out method). 

So, stay right there and let the tension gradually fade off. Hold each other’s hands, and look into each other’s eyes.

Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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