When asked what good sex felt like, everyone on our survey used the word: “fun,” and more than half used the words: “engaging, and sensual.” It suggests that good sex has to be fun, engaging, and sensual. This is why we have put up this article. We show you ways to make your sex more fun and engaging.
1. The build-up has to be tense
You can predict sex that will feel very fun and engaging long before the sex even begins. It is the build-up that tells. Almost always, when the build-up is full of tension and emotions swing loose, the sex is going to be great.
This is why make up sex feels so good.
Andrea tells us that the best sex she has ever had, has been make up sex with a partner who had been far away. When asked to describe it, she said: “I felt all that desire eat me from inside out. It is very hard to explain. But you know for sure you want something. And that you’ll get something. That longing just makes the sex feel amazing when it eventually happens.”
Build up tension by creating a longing in the mind of your partner. Make them want you. The more they want you, the more promising the sex might be.
Read: The Five Types of Sex
2. Set the mood right
When the sex is now sure to happen, still holding the tension in, set the mood right. Three things set the mood perfectly. At least for a lot of our readers and small survey team.
Where the Sex is Happening
Where is the sex happening? In the sitting room? In the dining? In the bathroom? It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you both feel calm and long for each other’s bodies. The spot has to be comfortable, and the lighting has to be perfect. I find that having sex in overlit rooms kills all the fun by making both partners a little too self-aware. Self-awareness kills the fun of sex. You shouldn’t be thinking about yourself or your performance when you have sex. You should be fixed in the moment, on your partner and what they feel. Stick to dull, blue lighting.
Music
Music and sound also have a big part to play in sex. If you want sex to be fun and engaging, you have to get the good songs on. I find old R and B music to be very sensual. That may not work for you, so you should find what works.
Alcohol
Sometimes, just a few sips of alcohol are all it takes to set the mood for sex right. This does not suggest that you should create a dependency on alcohol for creating the mood for sex. You’re going to mess up your sex life if you create that dependency.
In addition to all three things listed here, some sex games may be helpful to take away a person’s anxiety and help them set the right mood for sex.
3. Create intense feelings with sensual touches and kisses
Before the sex actually begins, that is to say, foreplay and penetrative sex; you have got to create intense feelings with touches and kisses.
You see when you are able to create these feelings, your partner feels relaxed, and you too. You know one thing about intimacy? It is relaxing. Think of all the times you had sex and felt such a beautiful breeze of ease. That was intimacy.
Find that ease on the lips of your partner as you kiss them. Be in the moment with each other. Rub each other’s bodies. I find that taking your partner’s clothes off yourself can be such a beautiful act of intimacy in itself.
So, try it out. Take off their clothes, and let them help you take yours off.
Read: When to Change Sex Positions?
4. Foreplay: Don’t rush it
When it comes to foreplay, one of the basic advises I give out is: do not rush it.
Rushing Foreplay is one of the reasons sex doesn’t feel fun. The best way to think of foreplay is to imagine it as a spring that shoots you into a better sexual experience.
You have to jump on that spring and let it take you to high points of intimacy.
Don’t rush. Take your time, and explore each other’s bodies during foreplay. It goes beyond having sex and feeling intimacy sometimes. There are times when foreplay can be a point of self-discovery. Or rather, partner discovery.
Ifeoma tells us that she discovered how her man’s body works through foreplay. “I came to see where his pleasure points are.”
Dan also says something really similar. He tells us: “It was during foreplay that I found out most of what I know about my partner’s body. People who sleep on foreplay do not do their sex lives any good.”
Have fun exploring each other’s bodies. This is how you find fun and excitement in sex.
Read: How to Have Good Foreplay
5. Penetrative sex? Seek each other’s pleasure
Seeking each other’s pleasure shouldn’t really be an option. You should actively seek to pleasure each other if you’re going to have fun and engaging sex.
Pay attention to your partner, and be sure that you take them into places of heightened pleasure.
Dan tells us: “The most engaging sex I have ever had has been in moments when I made my partner’s pleasure a priority too. I find that sex gets better when she feels everything I feel.”
Read: How to Be More Attentive to Your Woman During Sex
6. Communicate
Sex is not that serious. You don’t have to go mute. It is not a time to flex your ability to stay silent.
So, communicate somehow. With words. With your moans. Anything at all. There should be some communication. That way, you both know that you are doing great.
Summary
Engaging sex is easier than you think. You just have to be ready to pay attention and show some patience. That’s how it works.
