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10 Ways to Last Longer in Bed

by | Sensual Intimacy

Jul 29, 2023

Women agree that when sex is too short, it annoys them more than it pleasures them. Chalice, our reader, says she will not think about having sex a second time with a man who lasted too short. I know what you are thinking: is it our fault that we don’t last so long? While it might not be, here are 10 ways to last longer in bed.

1. Exercise

This will be especially helpful to men who are tired out easily by sex. 

Men don’t often accept this, but sex is an exercise in itself. Not only do you expend energy and burn calories, but you also put a bit of strain and tension on your muscles. 

If you want to last longer in bed, you will have to try out two categories of exercise. The first is cardio, which helps you build endurance and stamina. 

And the second includes targeted exercises. These target specific muscle groups and make them strong enough to contain tension. 

You should target the muscles of your arm, like the biceps and triceps. You should also target the muscles of your core by trying out planks. Kegels can work wonders on the muscles of your pelvis and may even help you deal with premature ejaculation.  

2. Diet

What you eat around the time of the sex can impact the sex itself. You should refrain from eating heavy meals before you have sex. These meals can put a lot of pressure on your abdomen so that you feel full and unable to perform. 

If you are overweight, losing some weight can definitely help you have better sex and last longer in bed. 

Read: The Speed Bump Position: How to Do It?

3. Foreplay

It is not exactly understood how foreplay is able to make one last longer. But my theory is that good foreplay does two things: 

  • It stabilizes the pleasure threshold: the pleasure threshold is the amount of pleasure that has to be reached before one ejaculates. Just putting your penis into your partner without foreplay may mess up this threshold. It is why foreplay plays a stabilizing role. 
  • It Helps One Deal with Performance Anxiety: performance anxiety can sure make one cum faster even when they don’t want to. So, dealing with it, as I will be discussing later, is important if you want to last longer in bed. 

4. Dealing with Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety can be mild or severe. Mild forms are not usually much of a problem. They only make the bulk of the sex very burdensome. Sex should never feel burdensome. It should be something one enjoys. 

Heavier forms of this anxiety may mess up one mentally and physically. It can even do as much as make the person breathe a lot faster and cause the heart to rise. 

Usually, the rise in heart rate can make one cum faster. 

Deal with your performance anxiety as soon as possible. I will be showing you how in the coming days and weeks. 

5. Learning the Art of Shutting Out

Knowing how to shut out is an art. And it is going to prove very helpful for men who cum too fast. 

You see, we men are very mental. During sex, we make a lot of pictures in our heads and connect to the activity with our minds. 

Disconnecting your mind from the sex can help you last longer, even though this comes at a price. The price is: you may not enjoy sex during these moments of shutting out. But your partner might, and that is something worth trying.

When next you feel like cumming, think of something else: something that does not concern the sex. 

This is going to reduce your feelings about sex and make you last longer.

Read: Sex Guide: 10 Things They Don’t Teach You About Sex

6. Pulling on the Balls

This is a trick a lot of men may already know. Pulling on your balls can make you last much longer in bed. That should be done at around the time when you are about to cum. 

Stop stroking, and pull on your balls gently, and you will have bought yourself additional five minutes. It is hard to tell why this works. But I believe pulling your balls will activate receptors that make sexual pressure less pronounced. 

Sort of a block in your neural pathways.

7. Changing Positions

Changing positions when you are just about to cum is a trick that has been around for a while. Men know about it, but women don’t. Get yourself some more time by changing positions if you feel your release is coming. 

Every man has a sexual position that makes it much harder for him to cum. For many men, this is the cowgirl position since his body has to work against gravity if he is to cum. 

Go into that sex position you do not like that much to last longer when next you feel yourself cumming. 

Read: 10 Best Sex Positions Men Love

8. Taking a Break

Taking a break when you feel you’re about to release is a bright idea that can make you last longer while having sex. You just have to be smart about it so your partner does not know what is going on. 

You see, being smart in the bedroom is a plus to any man. 

Take a break. That is: stop stroking altogether until your threshold is raised again. During the break, you can eat your woman out or just kiss her. Anything to keep her mind from the truth that you are holding back cum. 

9. Stroke Game

I will give you a tip: don’t stroke too fast. Stroking too fast is going to mess things up for you if you are planning to last longer in bed. 

Fast strokes mean there is more physical contact between your penis and her vagina per unit of time. 

You do not want this. You want to last long. So, begin slow and keep at the pace until you can maneuver the other tricks listed here. 

Read: How to Give Rhythm to Your Strokes

10. Masturbate Before Sex

This has come last because it is only recommended if you have extreme performance issues. 

Masturbating before the sex can help you last much longer. 

You should last long enough to give your woman the pleasure she deserves.

By QuietYearning Editors

The QuietYearning Team covers everything from relationships to lifestyle to parenting and more. Its team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on relationships.

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