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10 Ingenious Ways to Catch a Cheating Partner in The Act

by | Meeting People, Moving On

Jan 29, 2023

It is only an assumption until you can catch your partner cheating on you, no matter how strongly you feel that they are indeed cheating. But catching a cheating partner in the act can be very difficult, even on your mental health. Can you deal with the trauma of having to see your partner in bed with someone else? If you can, then keep reading.

These 10 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner in the act are sure to work.

1. Disappear For a While

This may seem counterproductive to you at first, but it works. When your partner is cheating on you, one thing stops them from going all out: you.

As long as you are there, they will feel very uneasy and may be likely to hide things from you. That is, they will hide all the cues and cover all the tracts. 

I have some experience with this. It is why I consider it a red flag when a partner is being too nice, especially when he or she is around me. It just points to the fact that they are hiding something they don’t want me to know about. 

Disappear. This is going to make them more comfortable, and they will not feel the need to hide anything. It will beat them at their own game, as they will sooner or later carelessly leave evidence lying around. 

You can disappear in any of the following ways: 

  • Staying out longer at the office.
  • Traveling more and establishing more friendships with people far away from your town.

Just give the cheating partner all the time they want in the world with their new partner.

2. Make Them Feel Very Comfortable

Sometimes, disappearing is very difficult to pull off. This is especially true if you have kids or don’t like to stay too far away from home. In this case, the best thing to do is make your cheating partner feel comfortable. 

The moment you make them sense that you suspect they are cheating, the game is lost. They are, of course, going to raise their defenses, and it will become impossible to catch them at that point. 

No matter how sure you think you are that they are cheating, do not show it. Instead, make them feel like they are being the best partner for you. 

Thank them for being “loyal” and amazing. 

Sometimes, depending on the temperament of your partner, thanking a cheating partner for being loyal may trigger a feeling of guilt and stop them from cheating

Other times, it will give them the relief they need to keep cheating on you without any repercussions. 

Buy them gifts. 

Let them do what they want. 

Read: 15 Reasons Why Men Cheat

3. Do not Ask Any Questions

At least not yet. Don’t do it. Someone who cheats is going to be an expert at lying. So it will be wishful thinking to expect the truth from them, especially when you are seeking to know the truth about where they are going or who they have been around lately. 

They are going to lie. Believe me. They almost always lie. That is why they are cheating on you in the first place. 

If you want to catch your cheating partner in the act, rather than ask questions, encourage them. 

The goal of this is to further push him or her into their new lovers’ arms, so much so that it becomes glaring that they are having an affair. 

For example, instead of asking: “Where are you going?”

You can say: “Hey, I want you to have fun. Seriously, enjoy yourself, okay?”

4. Watch their Friends

I like to assume my partner’s friends know her much more than I do, especially if she is cheating. The reason is this: cheating people often confide in one or more friends about their behavior. This is usually because, for some reason, they do feel guilty about it. 

Although it might be because they feel it is cool to cheat on one’s partner. 

It may surprise you that some people brag about cheating! That is, they go out on cheating sprees and find a way to tell their friends about it without feeling guilty at all. That is how disloyal some people can be. 

Want to catch your partner in the act? Watch his or her friends. 

Try as much as you can to know where these friends are at specific times. Watch their expressions when you ask about your partner. 

Are they in romantic relationships? Do they seem like people who cheat in their own relationships? If yes, then it is very unlikely that your partner is the odd one out. It is best, and safer on your emotions, to assume that, like his or her friends, your partner is a cheat as well. (Read: 5 Signs He Will Never Cheat on You)

5. Trigger Their Jealousy

I don’t know why this is so, but people who cheat seem to be very territorial sometimes. It is almost like they want to be the only ones who cheat. 

The moment you hint that there might be someone in your life, they become weirdly jealous and upset. 

Jake says it is because: “A cheat does not want the taste of their own medicine.” 

If you want to catch your partner in the act of cheating on you, trigger their jealousy. Show up one evening at home and talk about some amazing person you met over the weekend. 

Mention the person’s name—just that. Say nothing more. Just trigger jealousy and let things be. 

This is going to do either or both of two things: 

  • It is going to make your partner try to get back at you by exposing themselves: fuming with jealousy, they may want to get back at you to show that they aren’t the ones on the losing side. 
  • It will push them further into their new lover’s arms: this is a win-win for you. When they are around their new lover, it is easier to catch a cheating partner in the act. 

6. Go Through Their Phone

This feels like a bridge of privacy, and in many ways, it is. But going through their phone is not going to hurt as much as sticking around and wishing that the universe drops a tone of evidence in front of you. It is unlikely that is going to happen. 

Who are they texting? What are they saying? Have they planned to meet up recently?

All of these are cues, and if you work on them, you will be able to catch your partner cheating—that is, if they are cheating. 

I will say this again: it isn’t helpful to accuse your partner of cheating when you do not have any evidence to back it up. 

Read: Is My Boyfriend Cheating on Me?

7. Randomly Ask to See Them

Let’s say they are out on a ‘trip’ with their friends. Be chill about it. But randomly, and I mean randomly, ask to see them. 

That is, have a video call. 

If they are cheating, they will not oblige to having the video call. But you can play your way around it and convince them to. 

Most times, you will get your evidence at this stage. But if you don’t, then it is time to go the old-school way and become just a little more ingenious.

8. Cat Fish Them

This is difficult work, but since you are bent on finding out whether or not your partner is cheating on you, I guess you will not mind much.

Create a new account on Facebook or any of the social media platforms your lover uses. 

Make sure this account looks as genuine as possible. Now, text them. 

Try to be their friend at first. And when you have gotten their trust, start to fish out secrets from them. 

Ask questions like: “Are you married?”

A cheat will always give answers that are not direct. 

They often say things like: “I don’t know. It is a bit complicated.” 

Read: Is My Girlfriend Cheating On Me?

9. Have a Friend Test Him or Her

Use this only as a last resort. If things don’t go as planned (that is to say, if your partner isn’t cheating and figures out what you are trying to do), your relationship is done. 

Have your friend text your partner and try to set them up. 

While this friend texts your partner, be sure that you are completely out of the picture. 

Do what I suggested in number 1.

This works, I am telling you. It works. If your friend understands the game pretty well, your cheating partner may fall for them and suggest a link-up. 

Boom, you have your answer. 

10. Mess Up Your Schedule

When you are trying to catch a cheating partner, mess up your schedule. But do this only when you are sure, or your gut tells you, that your partner is in the act at that point. 

Show up at the house too early when he or she had not expected you to come around. 

I have seen this work for a couple of my friends. It does work. (Read: 15 Ways To Cheat-Proof Your Relationship)


Dealing with questions about whether or not a partner is cheating is not easy. So, go out there and find some evidence. Good luck!

By Ubee

Ubong Johnson (Ubee) is a relationship expert and writer. He writes articles that cover everything from relationships and nutrition to lifestyle. His works have appeared in several literary magazines, including The Shallow Tales Review, Ngiga Review, and the Kalahari Review. He is the founder and editor of Fiction Niche.

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