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10 Tips for Getting and Staying Hard

by | Sensual Intimacy

May 10, 2024

Every girl knows at least one guy who has a problem with getting and staying hard. And the sad part about this is that she talks about him to her friends every now and then. Trust me, you do not want to be this guy. We are here to make sure your erection problems stay a thing of the past. Here are 10 tips for getting and staying hard.

1. Remove porn dependence

It may seem like the opposite sometimes, however, porn is pretty much an enemy of your erection. 

Porn offers a very disturbing kind of gratification that damages you. 

It teaches your mind to believe that the deed has to happen now, and so, as soon as you get aroused, your brain begins a countdown. 

If you get hard by watching porn, you are going to have to stay hard by seeing porn as well. 

Imagine watching porn when a woman is there, lying next to you. 

Imagine the weirdness. 

Try as hard as you can to not watch so much porn. 

2. Do not masturbate too often

Masturbation mirrors sex. Sometimes, it even mirrors sex a little too much, so that your body begins to imagine your hands to be a woman’s vagina. 

I know guys who have quite struggle to maintain an erection when having penetrative sex because they have become so used to using their hands. They don’t even know what a woman’s vagina should feel like. 

If you find that you masturbate a whole lot, then it may be time to let it all go and find the true essence of what sex should be. 

3. Deal with performance anxiety

Performance anxiety is another chief reason why men may find it difficult to have or even sustain an erection. 

When you are focused too much on whether or not you are going to do it right, chances are, you will not do it right. 

To enjoy sex and have your partner enjoy it too, you have got to be focused on the sex. 

Disengage your mind from that constant nagging in your head: the one that tells you she is going to laugh about this when it is all over.

Read: What Does a Blow Job Feel Like? 

4. Desire your spouse

The subject of desire is one that cannot be overlooked. For you to truly enjoy having sex with your woman, you have got to desire her. 

She has got to arouse you mentally before any form of arousal takes place physically. 

What I am saying is: have sex with women you desire. If you don’t desire her that much, it is best to let it go and not have sex with her just yet. 

5. Penis pumps do a lot of good

Whilst I do not advise that you depend much on penis pumps, I cannot deny the reality that they actually work to help one get and sustain an erection. 

They work by increasing the flow of blood into your penile tissues, which are in themselves erectile and increase in length when blood is forced into them. 

Penis pumps may help sustain your erection, but they don’t work like magic. They only work to a certain extent. Whilst some men admit they do a lot of good, others have expressed some forms of disappointment. 

6. Use penis rings

Penis rings, or cock rings, are often used in  tandem with a penis pump. 

Penis rings are worn on the base of the penis, and function to help one stay erect. 

You, however, have to be very cautious not to wear them for too long. Wear them too long, and you stand a risk of injuring your penile tissues. 

When you have used your penis pump, slide on your cock ring, and try as much as you can to invest your mind and emotions in the sex. 

7. Have good foreplay

I have never had bad sex when the foreplay was good

10 out of the 12 guys who participated in a small survey following the planning of this article agree that good foreplay made them feel less anxious and helped them stay hard and erect for much longer than usual. 

Spend some time getting to know and play with each other’s bodies even before the actual penetrative sex. 

A lot of guys tend to think foreplay is a thing left for women to enjoy. They are all wrong. Guys can enjoy foreplay, and they should—every single time. 

8. Be in charge

When next you have sex with your woman, you should be in charge. 

Being in charge does not mean being mean and brash towards her. It means being calm and taking control of the progression of the sex, leading her into bountiful orgasms. 

When a woman senses that you want to get her to that place where she has the most jerky orgasms, she is going to submit to you. 

And guess what?  This is going to subconsciously take away your anxiety.

Your mind is going to go: “Heck, I am doing it right.” 

Your penis is going to, in turn, get the memo, and so things are going to stay really hard for quite some time.  

Read: How to Stroke the Nipples Right

9. Have her fondle your power points

I know power point is a weird name to call it, but we all have those points on our bodies that bring us very close to orgasms. 

When you both are having sex, to keep the erection longer, staying hard and being in the mood, have her fondle you in these zones. 

It can be your nipple, your nape, or even your earlobe. Everyone has those points. Have her touch at them, and you may keep your erection for long. 

10. Change positions

Changing positions may have an impact on how hard you stay and how long you stay hard. 

Try positions that offer a firm grip on your penis. They will definitely make you stay harder. 


Staying hard is something a lot of guys struggle with. But not you anymore. Do these, and you’d stay hard for long.

By Ubee

Ubong Johnson (Ubee) is a relationship expert and writer. He writes articles that cover everything from relationships and nutrition to lifestyle. His works have appeared in several literary magazines, including The Shallow Tales Review, Ngiga Review, and the Kalahari Review. He is the founder and editor of Fiction Niche.

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