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How to Stop Thinking About Sex

by | Sensual Intimacy

Apr 21, 2024

It is not uncommon to hear or read people complaining about their love for sex, describing it as excessive and disturbing. In this article, I will be solving that problem with you. I will be showing you how to stop thinking about sex. 

1. Stop trying

The thing about thoughts is that they produce more thoughts. There is never a thought that came to be of itself. Thoughts are always birthed by other thoughts. 

Your constant thinking about sex can be fixed when you stop trying. 

As you try to stop thinking about sex, you are subconsciously thinking about sex. This is why we tend to be more attached to people we don’t want to think about. 

You will feel free when you stop trying. 

When you stop resisting the thoughts too much. An ancient belief postulates that thoughts are like water. As you resist them, they cover you like a stubborn wave, and soon, you drown. The only thing to do is let them pass.

This may seem very counterproductive, but I assure you that it works. 

You have to develop a mindset of: “I won’t try to think about sex. But if the thought of sex comes, I will not resist it. I will let it pass, as it isn’t coming to harm me. Rather, it is coming to help.”

This always works. I have not seen it fail much. 

2. Stop watching pornography

One thing you have to understand about human thought is that we think with images. Everything you are thinking about now is an image. 

When you think of your girlfriend, you are putting up a picture of her in your mind. 

This means anything that fuels our imagination will begin to replicate as thoughts, even when that stimulus is absent for a while. 

Pornography is one of the most sticky images. It sticks to your mind so that you don’t stop thinking about sex even when you don’t want to.

It helps to remove such a trigger. Stop watching porn. This is going to help you more than you know!

I know this can be hard. But guess what? Only a few things can stop you when you make up your mind to achieve something, no matter what it is. 

You can stop seeing all forms of pornography today. It is going to be hard in some ways, but you can do it.

Stopping will help keep thoughts of having sex away from your mind. 

Read: How to stop being horny

3. Stop reading erotic material

Reading erotic material is somewhat worse than even watching porn. This is because your mind is more engaged when you read books compared to when you actually watch porn. 

Think about the last time you read an erotic book. Think about how you had to conjure up the thoughts yourself. 

This activity of thinking up things can make your mind more alert and eager to think up things that concern sex. 

This is going to make you want to think about sex more. 

So, it is best you stop reading erotic material. They’re bad for you. Keep all of them away. 

4. Develop a habit of writing

Very few things engage the mind more than writing. When you write, your brain lobes are on fire, getting all that intellectual information out. 

This makes writing such a great option when you are trying to replace your erotic thoughts. 

Write about things that you hold dear. Write about everything. To be honest, I do not know an addict for whom journaling did not help. 

Journalling is like detox. It clears your mind. And more than that, it fills your mind with stuff that is healthy. Stuff that will help you be better and think better. 

5. Have healthy sex often

This may seem very counterproductive, but if you starve yourself of the good times that sex brings, it is likely you will think about sex most of the time. 

You cannot cheat your biology. You are made to push life forward, and for this to happen, you just have to have sex every now and then. 

Keeping yourself from having sex is not going to keep sex thoughts from having you. 

This is the way it works. If you have adequate and real sex, you will not be anxious about having sex. And as such, thinking about sex wouldn’t have to be the only thing you do. 

6. Don’t masturbate

Seriously. Don’t. Masturbation is not going to help you. In fact, there is such a big chance that it may harm your mind. 

It may make you dependent on instant gratification. And instant gratification has long been known to make people complacent. It makes people want to give up too easily. They no longer want to try out anything because they all they have to do is in there and repeat whatever makes them happy in that moment. 

7. Talk to a sex therapist

Sex therapy is a thing, and a sex therapist is a professional with whom you can discuss all about your sex life. They can guide you into better sexual conditioning and habits. 

Talk to them about how you feel about your constant thinking about sex, and they will be sure to come up with ways to help. 

8. Cut yourself some slack

There are going to be relapses. I don’t know what you must have heard, but relapses are not a bad thing all the time. Sometimes, they help us cement our healing. There is such a small chance you will fall to an enemy you have defeated more than once. 

So, be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel things that should be felt. 

When you think about sex, even after trying not to, don’t make it too weird. Allow yourself to rest. This is how you win at these sorts of things. No one ever wins by pushing too hard. 


If you are always thinking about sex and want to stop, you have to begin to exaggerate your strength rather than diminish it. 

By Ubee

Ubong Johnson (Ubee) is a relationship expert and writer. He writes articles that cover everything from relationships and nutrition to lifestyle. His works have appeared in several literary magazines, including The Shallow Tales Review, Ngiga Review, and the Kalahari Review. He is the founder and editor of Fiction Niche.

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