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7 signs that you’re in a situationship

by | Love

May 13, 2024

A lot of girls and guys are in situationships with their partners but mistake these for actual relationships. We know this for a fact because we have received emails and a lot of questions about how to know if one is in a situationship. In this article, we explained the signs that you’re in a situationship, not a relationship.

1. Definition

Basically, relationships are more well-defined than Situationships. 

People who are in relationships know their relationships because at some point their partners had asked them to be in a relationship with them. 

If your partner had not in any way or at any point asked, expressly, that you be a part of your lives or be in a relationship with them, then it is safe to say that you’re in a situationship because you had assumed that what you had going on was an actual committed relationship. 

A situationship is an ambiguous romantic connection lacking clear commitment. In it, one or both partners assume they are in a relationship without defining the terms of their relationship.

Most people in situationships make the error of assumption. 

When it comes to love and dating, relationships, and marriage, nothing runs on the wheels of assumption. 

If they never asked you to be in a relationship with them, then you’re obviously not in a relationship; you’re in a rather complex situationship. 

2. Commitment

There are times when a relationship can metamorphose into a Situationship. This happens quite a lot and many times the partner who is in the relationship doesn’t even know that this has happened. 

One of the telltale signs that a relationship has become a situationship is that commitment leaves.  

And commitment usually starts to leave on an emotional level. It begins with one partner being emotionally detached from the other partner, and then it becomes more of a physical detachment, where the other partner feels comfortable enough to sleep with someone outside the relationship.

The relationship becomes a Situationship at that point. 

This usually happens a lot when men are cheated on. Usually, the traditional man is very unaccepting of cheating. 

If one cheats on a man who considers himself traditional, it’s very unlikely that the relationship will recover. And if it does recover, it is very likely that it no longer stays as a relationship at that point—because the break in trust is going to make the man fully withdraw his commitment.

Read: Signs your man is committed to you

3. You feel like it is

What we feel is often the truth. This is especially true in cases where you have a gut feeling rather than just fear.  

If for example, you feel deep down in your guts that something is not right, and that the dynamics of the relationship are not very favorable. Then it’s likely that you are in the situation-relationship rather than a relationship.

Most of the times when I have found myself in situationships, I had long before experienced a very deep sense of ease and a very deep sense of dissatisfaction with what I was having with that lady. 

This usually drove me to ask questions, which brings me to the next thing I’m going to talk about.

4. They don’t give you definite answers

That “what are we” question is usually a very embarrassing one. 

It is so embarrassing that guys would rather chew on stones than ask. 

This is why it’s usually assumed that the question is for women. 

But it really is not. Even men ask that question; it’s a very pressing question that sits very deep in the lines. 

And the best way to put it is that it’s a very necessary question. Men and women alike have to come to ask themselves this question. 

It will tell them whether they are in a relationship or whether they are in something rather temporary and not so deep. 

If you ask your partner what you both are doing or what you both have going on and they respond with a very indefinite phrase, more like they are trying to avoid the question, then it’s best to assume that they don’t consider you that much of a partner and that you’re already in the situationship. 

This is usually such a hard pill to swallow, especially when you spent a lot of time and investment in what you had believed to be a relationship. 

But as with many things around relationships, the earlier you know, no matter how hard it is, the better. 

5. They are emotionally unavailable

Emotional unavailability is such a big red flag. 

It shows you that there really is nothing there. Constantly seeking answers and constantly seeking some kind of closure, that there is something in a relationship when your partner is not even available to you emotionally is just you lying to yourself. 

And you really don’t have to lie to yourself. You are the last person that you tell yourself a lie to. 

Even if everyone else lies to you, you owe it to yourself to tell yourself the truth.  

Read: What It Means to Be in a Complicated Relationship

6. They just got out of a relationship or are still in one

If they just got out of a relationship with someone or are currently in a relationship whilst promising you it will soon end just so they can keep getting involved with you; then it’s very likely that they don’t even take you seriously in the first place. 

You’re just a tool to them, and as such, you’re in a situationship. 

I can promise you that as soon as they get over the relationship or that heartbreak, they are going to leave you on the side, and you’re going to be there alone to tend to your wounds. 

7. They don’t want to be seen in public with you

This is very true if it is the woman who doesn’t want to be seen in the public with you as a man. 

Women are usually quite expressive about their love for a man and will usually do everything possible to be seen with him—they’ll be proud of him. 

If this pride is absent, it may be that that kind of relationship isn’t exactly what the woman desires. 


Situationships are becoming more and more common. You don’t want to be caught in one. 

By Ubee

Ubong Johnson (Ubee) is a relationship expert and writer. He writes articles that cover everything from relationships and nutrition to lifestyle. His works have appeared in several literary magazines, including The Shallow Tales Review, Ngiga Review, and the Kalahari Review. He is the founder and editor of Fiction Niche.

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