There is a notion that men want sex and sex alone. This is not true. Men want sex, of course. But more than that, they want an adventure. Men want sex when sex promises them an adventure they do not forget in a hurry. This is why they turn to porn and are more likely to seek sex from women who seem like “baddies.” The tricky part is that men need a constant adventure. So. A man who feels hyped enough today may become very bored tomorrow. Luckily, there will always be signs. Here are a few signs that he is bored sexually.
1. Sex feels like a routine
Whatever feels like a routine will become very boring eventually, even sex.
What routines do is make us feel tired and worn out. We begin to feel like something we once loved has become a chore. A duty we just have to complete.
When it gets to this point, your man is definitely bored.
He is only having sex with you so that he does not seem like some bad guy.
It has happened to quite a number of men.
Here are the stories of five men who admit they felt similar when they had began to lose that sense of fun in sex: when they had become bored
“I began to feel like sex just had to happen. Not because I loved it, but because it would be rude to deny my woman something she wanted.”
– Sam.
“I would look at the time and go: ‘Oops. Nine O’clock now. I guess it is now time for me to have sex.”
– Alade
“I would sigh when the clock drew close to midnight, knowing that I had to have sex. I just did not love having sex.”
– Kai.
Read: Indicators of Relationship Burnout in Your Partner
2. You get too many excuses
Five men told us this about the excuses they give when they think sex is beginning to get boring.
“I gave so many excuses I began to feel as though I was being an awful person, and maybe I was.”
– Tunji
“Some of my most common excuses were: “I am tired. I don’t know how my day will look tomorrow, so I guess it will be best if I sleep.”
– Rick
“I think I am falling sick.”
– Donald
“I don’t think I will be able to go on. I can barely breathe.”
– Harald
“Tomorrow.”
– Ubong
All of these are common excuses women hear from time to time.
If you notice that your boyfriend is giving you more and more excuses, it therefore means there’s something wrong.
He is getting very bored with having sex with you.
3. You are bored too
You can often know how your partner feels by being very honest about how you feel as well.
Many women agree that they can tell their partners are getting bored with sex when they become bored as well.
More than half of these women admit that this sudden loss in the run of sex has something to do with them–with something they are doing wrong or not even doing.
Three women tell us how they could tell:
“I could tell I wanted to have sex. But for some reason, I did not look forward to having sex. I feel like that was one of the first signs that I and my partner were both getting bored. We no longer looked forward to having sex.”
– Edara
“I could tell something was wrong. So wrong, I could never really feel the same way about sex. It wasn’t because I lost feelings for him or loved the sex less. It was something I still cannot really place my finger on. Boredom, maybe. It just has to be that.”
– Sophie
“It is something I laugh about now that I know what was wrong. I had been bored sexually, and the truth is, he had been bored sexually as well. It is something we see a lot in relationships, especially when one has just begun to cohabit with their partners.”
– Mennie
If you relate to any of the things these women have told us, then chances are very high that your mind is bored with sex.
Need I remind you that a bored man may be forced to seek adventure someplace else? Keep an eye out for our coming article: “How to Fix a Sexually Bored Man.”
4. Can we cuddle instead?
Men know that a woman who loves them makes them the object of all her attention and affection, and so these men are extra careful not to hurt their woman’s feelings.
Knowing that you may be hurt if he says no to sex with you so often, he will try to make you feel better by offering you an alternative to sex.
One he imagines you will love very much.
“Can we cuddle instead?” is something you are going to hear a lot when your mind begins to find sex quite boring.
You will hear it so many times it becomes one of those sentences that annoy you very much.
Bonnie told us:
“He said it so much I began to hate cuddles. I immediately knew he was going to say: ‘Can we cuddle instead?’ whenever I wanted to have sex with him. So, I didn’t bother.”
5. You Just Moved in Together
Another sign that you and he are both getting bored by sex is that you both moved in together recently. The subject of being bored sexually is one I find to be very common with couples that have just moved in with each other.
This is especially true if they are both young or the relationship is in its earlier stages.
This is because when both couples move in with each other newly, they tend to explore all their sexual fantasies too soon, exhausting all other things that could make their sex lives a lot better.
Summary
People get bored every now and then. It should not impact the quality of your relationship. You should rather seek ways to restore the fun around sex.
