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What is the relationship phase? 9 Signs you’re in a relationship

by | Love

Jun 15, 2024

Sometimes it is clear that one is in a relationship even when it has not been verbally pronounced yet. Other times it is a whole world of questions. Zara tells us that she had known she was in a relationship with her man even when he never really asked her to be his woman. Omole, on the other hand, says it is quite difficult to tell. In this article, we explore the relationship phase—all the signs that you are now in a relationship. 

What is The Relationship Phase?

The relationship phase is a phase of commitment and vulnerability. That’s the simplest way to put it. All relationships must feature some kind of commitment. While most relationships are sexually committed relationships, and a few may not be, all relationships show at least one kind of commitment. 

The four major kinds of commitments that you expect to see in a relationship include:

1. Sexual commitment

There is almost always some sexual commitment in the relationship phase. Sexual commitment points to the fact that your partner is only having sex with you and no one else.

2. Emotional and romantic commitment

Alongside sexual commitment, there is almost always some emotional and romantic commitment. This is the one that should not be missing. Even when you both agree to be in an open relationship, it is the sex that stays open. Definitely not the commitment. 

Hauwa, who has been in an open relationship before, tells us that she knew her man had been with other women sexuallybut trusted his heart to be with her. This is how she knew what was really going on was a relationship. 

3. Financial commitments

There is always going to be some kind of financial commitment in a relationship. The financial commitment will be put into make the relationship work. It will cover the costs of its dates, gifts, and sometimes even the other partner’s welfare. 

4. Commitments to the future

Every relationship has a future, even though what you see now is the present. One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is a commitment to the future—your future. It can be any kind of commitment, like a joint bank account, or constantly being motivated to go out there and get this degree. 

If your interaction doesn’t include all four of these commitments, it may not be a relationship yet and may need some time to either fall apart or become something else. 

9 Signs You’re in a Relationship

Now, here are signs that point towards the fact that you are in a relationship and that all four of the aforementioned commitments exist:

1. You both have romantic feelings for each other

You know you are now in a relationship if you both have defined feelings for each other. It is why I have used the word ‘romantic’ to qualify those feelings. 

Before the romantic phase, most of the feelings that exist in interactions fluctuate between lust and infatuation. Lust is often at an all-time high during the seduction phase

It is difficult to trust lust because, unlike love, lust tends to grow in space. You don’t need to know a person to lust after them.  But I tell you this: you have to know someone to love them. 

Love grows through closeness and vulnerability, two things that make the relationship phase what it is.

Can you say that you love your man? Can he say that he loves you, too? If your answer is yes, then you just might be in a relationship with him. Even when he has not said so himself.

Read: How to properly execute the seduction phase

2. You’re now loyal to each other

Loyalty is what usually shows a person they are now in a relationship. Loyalty means separation from other forms of emotional and sexual feelings for any other person. 

Kay tells us: “I knew a relationship had started when I began to show some loyalty to my partner. She never defined the relationship. But I knew I was being loyal and that she was expected to be loyal too.”

Are you loyal? Do you expect your partner to be loyal to you as well? This is such a big sign that you both are now in a relationship. 

3. There is healthy jealousy

Healthy jealousy is not a bad thing. What is bad, actually, is corrosive jealousy that takes all the fun out of your life and the relationship. 

Healthy jealousy is a sign that some loyalty is present or at least expected. We don’t get jealous of people we don’t want to see loyal to us. We get jealous when we feel like someone who should be loyal isn’t being that. 

Peniel tells us: “I began to feel jealous. Like he was supposed to show me his loyalty. It took a while to figure it out. But I did figure that I was that way because I was loyal too.”

4. Everything isn’t sexual

Although you both will still be attracted to each other sexually when in a relationship, you both will not make the entire relationship revolve around sex. That is to say, there is going to be a marked reduction in how often you talk about sex and maybe even in how often you have sex. 

There is also going to be a change in the quality of sex. A change in the quality of sex shows you that, at that point, sex has stopped being just an activity and now exists as something full of emotional feelings. 

Read: What is the Interaction Phase?

5. There is now better communication

The communication style gets a lot better when you cross the seduction phase and enter into the relationship phase. All of a sudden, you get your partner more. You understand why they act the way they do and why they feel the things they feel. 

Emma says: “It happens like magic. You suddenly understand your partner and why they are the way they are.”

Betty also says: “I came to understand him even more. It felt like I hadn’t known him all this while. His feelings made sense to me because I felt the same way about him most of the time.”

6. There are defined roles

When you are not in a relationship yet, the roles you have to play in each other’s lives are a little obscure. But this changes the moment you both enter a relationship. It becomes more defined which roles have to be filled.

The man enters his traditional role as a provider and protector. And the woman enters her role as one who nurtures the relationship and the man. 

If I were to be asked, I’d say this is the number one sign that you are now in a relationship. People who are not in relationships are very unable to place themselves into traditional roles. 

7. There are future plans

As mentioned earlier, future-based commitments are the hallmark of a relationship. If you notice that you or your man have become quite invested in the future together and have come to see your relationship with each other through the lens of the future, then it is true that you are in a relationship. 

Future plans don’t necessarily have to mean plans to get married or something. It can be anything. But as long as your partner is present in your mind when you think about the future, and vice versa, then you may be in a relationship. 

Peniel told us: “Every time I thought about my own future, he was there. As a thought. He just existed in my future all the time. I knew then that what we had was deeper than just a casual fling or seduction.”

8. There is a desire to go public

When one is still uncertain about their stance in a person’s life, it is hard to go public. This changes when their subconscious begins to pick up signals that suggest their place in their partner’s life has now been defined. 

This shows up as a new desire to be seen in public together. It can begin as the very small things, like holding hands. Or make a post on Facebook. Whatever it is, you both will desire to be seen by the public more. 

Read: What is the Space of Uncertainty in Relationships

8. Boundaries

One of the hallmarks of a relationship is the effacement of initial boundaries and the creation of new ones. 

There is no healthy relationship without boundaries. Every relationship that exists will have to be tested in the place of boundaries. If you notice that your boundaries suddenly become weaker in certain areas and stronger in others, it may be a sign that you are now in a relationship. 

9. Someone asked

This is the best way to know if you are in a relationship. If someone asks, whether as a joke or something serious, you should know they mean it, especially if you see the other signs mentioned here. 

You’re in the relationship phase. You should enjoy it.


The relationship phase is marked by commitment!

By Martin Corden

Martin Corden is a certified relationship expert and a songwriter from Australia. He loves researching and writing. Martin loves finding new ways to improve and inspires others to be their best version and work together towards it. Martin has a wide range of intellectual and artistic interests.

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