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15 Red Flags In Men You Have to Know

by | Meeting People, Moving On

Jun 20, 2023

When a man in your life behaves in a peculiar manner, it can evoke feelings of annoyance or even unease. We have done a lot of observing and researching over the past weeks. These are the 15 red flags in men you should look out for that we found to be most common and problematic.

1. He Talks to His Ex

When we say men should not speak to their exes, we do not mean Hi’s and Hellos. We mean full-fledged conversations that include a lot of telling. 

Conversations are the major way to build attraction. So, if a man is constantly speaking to his ex, you should consider this a red flag because that is just what it is. 

It is best not to confront him. Just begin to detach to save your sanity.

2. He is Secretive

A secretive man almost always has something to hide. And even if he doesn’t, it is a red flag you shouldn’t dismiss because being with him will keep you on your toes. 

No one deserves a relationship that keeps them on their toes. In your relationship, you should have both your feet on the ground. That is to say: you should feel safe and very secure. 

Don’t settle for less. Don’t even think about it.

Read: 15 Types of Guys Who Will Ruin Your Life

3. He has Anger Issues

A man who has anger issues is a red flag because he is unsafe. 

Predictability is a good thing in a relationship. This means you have got to know what your partner is capable of. This makes you feel safe. 

With men who have anger issues, you cannot tell what is going to come next. 

You will admit this to be true if you have ever seen a man who is morbidly angry. One minute it feels like nothing, and the next, the argument turns into a flaming fire.

4. He Does Not Trust You

Just as love is, trust is something that must be accorded to you by your man. It is not a gift or some privilege. It is your right to be trusted. 

If the man you are seeing does not trust you, it goes to show how he sees you. 

He does not see you as someone who is trustworthy now. And the chances are too small that he will see you as trustworthy later. 

He has to see you as being trustworthy or leave you alone. Do not settle. Also, don’t negotiate. People who negotiate for trust are all wasting their time.

5. You are Never Enough for Him

I have heard a lot of women sugarcoat this by saying: “He is too demanding.” 

No, he is not too demanding. He just doesn’t think you are enough for him. 

It is a big red flag in men you should look out for and definitely not avoid if a man disproves everything you do.

You may think you will be able to cope. But I can tell you this: you wouldn’t. You may make changes to your lifestyle and personality just so you fit into his standards. But sooner or later, you are going to be worn out.

If you will not deal with it when things get serious, it is best not to deal with it now.

Read: 15 Types of Guys Who Stay Single

6. He Talks to Multiple Women

A man who talks to multiple women is a big red flag, and here is why: men are not like women who get hit on all the time. With a woman, there is a chance that 90 percent of the men she talks to hit on her first. 

With men, that figure narrows to around 30 percent.

This means that for every 10 women he talks to, he approaches 7.

Do you want to be with a man who approaches 7 women every once in a while? You don’t. So, it is best if you stay away. 

You should not even think about giving a chance to all the mental gymnastics that are going to come when you get serious with him. No. You deserve a mind bereft of a hundred questions. 

7. He is not Accountable

Accountability, in many ways, is what makes a man a man. Men are supposed to be accountable because they are leaders. They are the ones who set the pace of the relationship, guiding their women in love. 

A man who lacks that kind of accountability is going to be tilted toward the feminine side.

There is, of course, going to be a collision of interests. Whilst you seek that he leads you, he will seek that you lead him. You don’t want that. For a relationship to work, the man has to lead.

8. He Talks a Lot

Men are generally not supposed to be talkative. A man who is talkative is a red flag because it will be difficult to respect him. 

It is no news that relatively quiet people are more respected than ones who talk too much. 

If you are unable to respect your man, the relationship is not going to work out. Men interpret respect from their women as love. When you don’t respect him, he is going to believe you do not love him. 

How is that supposed to work?

Read: 10 Types of Guys That Make Empty Promises

9. He is Avoidant

Someone is said to be avoidant if he or she runs away from an emotional connection. I have chosen the word ‘run’ because of what avoidance looks like. The minute things start to get serious, the avoidant man is going to be off. 

He will no longer be as invested in you or the relationship. 

Sometimes, he may bring up problems from nowhere. If you have noticed that you and the man you are seeing seem to have problems that spring from out of nowhere, mostly when things are going well, there is a big chance that you are dealing with an avoidant man.

10. He is Unavailable

By unavailable, I do not mean emotionally unavailable. I mean physically unavailable. This is a big red flag in men because women desire attention. It will be very difficult to deal with a relationship in which there is little to no attention. 

Why settle for a man who is unavailable when you can get yourself one who is going to be with you? 

Please note that there are women who can deal with men who are physically far away from them. If you are one of these, then his being unavailable is not much of a red flag.

Read: The 9 Types of Guys | What Dating Them Says About You

11. There are Always Excuses

When a man always has excuses to give, it means he is lazy. There is no better way to put it except I want to sugarcoat things. I, however, do not want to sugarcoat anything. 

He may not be physically lazy. But I can promise you a man who always has excuses to give you when things take a wrong turn is mentally lazy.

Life is harsh and very tasking. You need to be with someone who is resilient. Who does not take no for an answer? 

I have seen that men who have a lot of excuses seem to love pleasure more than getting things done. These men will someday cheat on you and, of course, cook up an excuse to justify why it happened.

12. He is Not on Terms With His Family

You can tell how a man is going to treat you by looking at how he treats his family.

He may be nice to you and seem perfect. Don’t buy this if what he is to his family is the direct opposite. 

This is one of the biggest red flags in men because if you keep up with the relationship, you are someday going to be his family. And he will begin to treat you in a manner you do not appreciate. 

13. He Does not Stand Up for His Friends

This is also how he is going to treat you someday. 

You deserve a man who stands up for you. You are under his care, after all, and that is what people do for people they care for. 

Take some time out now and think about the number of times he has stood up for you. 

Can you place your finger on any of such times? If not, then consider that man a big flag. 

A man who is right for you is going to show a willingness to stand up for you.

Read: How To Stop Attracting The Wrong Men

14. Unhealthy Jealousy

Of course, jealousy is great. But there are times when jealousy is toxic. 

You know that jealousy is toxic when it begins to assume control. In everything you do, be sure to never end up with a controlling man. 

There are no bigger red flags in men than control. Never end up with a controlling man. Don’t do that to yourself. It will someday graduate into abuse.  

15. He Compares Himself with Everyone

Comparing oneself to everyone around them is a marked symptom of low self-esteem, and that is a big red flag in men you definitely should avoid at all costs. You should not end up with a man who has issues with his self-esteem, as you will feel very attracted to him along the line. 

You are a woman. Of course, you will begin to consider him as weak. 

Of what use is it being with a man whom you do not admire much? 


Do not think that men are perfect. Men have red flags too.

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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