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How to Test a Guy to See if He Really Loves You

by | Love

May 21, 2023

If you are unsure about how a guy feels about you, then the best thing you can do is test him. While many people think testing to be manipulative, I think it can be very healthy if done right, as the right tests will bring both you and your man into a spot where you can understand each other’s feelings. Here is how you can test a guy to see if he really loves you.

1. Disappear for a While

One of the best ways to measure someone’s love for you is to observe how often they seek you out. 

A guy who loves you is going to seek you out the moment he figures you have been unavailable for a while. On the other hand, a guy who does not love you so much may not be so bothered. 

Every once in a while, especially when you need to test if he really loves you, disappear on your guy. This is not to say you should ghost him. It is just for you to become very unavailable. 

Henrieta told us: “I never knew how much my boyfriend loved me until I disappeared once. I left all my social media accounts dormant. He reached out to me the day after and told me how much he misses and loves me.”

2. Accuse Him of Not Loving You Enough

This is reverse psychology and is considered quite unhealthy. But it does work. With reverse psychology, you attempt to make a person lose balance. 

They will usually overcompensate for this love of balance by telling you the whole truth. 

Let’s say you tell your boyfriend stuff like: “I do not think you love me at all. Sometimes I feel so insecure.” 

His reaction, if he loves you, is going to be a very detailed profession of love. He will try as much as he can to take that doubt away from your mind because he understands that if he doesn’t, the doubt is surely going to affect him in some way.

Read: How to Tell Him I Like Him Without Making it Obvious

3. Ask that he Makes Changes to His Schedule

How much time a person makes for you is a measure of how much they love you. It is easy for men to make time for the women they love. On the other hand, it is the most difficult thing ever for a man to make time for a woman he does not love that much. 

Test your man’s love by asking that he makes some changes to his schedule every now and then. 

Don’t do it so much, though, so that it does not affect his productivity. A man will often lose feelings for you if he finds that you are making him less productive. 

4. Ask for His Help

Men love to help women they are in love with. This is called their hero instinct. It makes them want to be there more. 

If you really need to know what he feels for you, ask that he helps you with anything that is giving you difficulty.

Many times, you won’t even have to ask if he truly loves you; you will only need to complain. 

“Honey, I don’t think I will be sleeping tonight because I have a lot of work to do.” 

If he loves you, the first thing he will ask is: “Do you think I will be able to help you.” 

The rule of thumb you should not forget is that a man who does not offer to help you every now and then does not love you. 

5. Tell Him You are Insecure

This is a very honest way to text a guy if he really loves you. It is my personal favorite because you do not have to manipulate him.

Head straight to him and bare your feelings. Tell him you feel insecure that he may be talking to other women. 

Tell him that this keeps you awake at night sometimes. 

If he loves you, he is going to make out time to talk you out of whatever you may be feeling.

He will also bare himself out and may even allow you access to his personal information, like his social media, so you don’t get freaked out again in the future. 

Read: 10 Ways to Let Them Know You Love Them Without Saying It

6. Begin to Touch Him More

This test works on the principle that physical touch from a woman they love is very irresistible for guys. 

When you touch a guy who truly loves you, you will usually be able to tell how it improves his mood. He will want to touch you too. And if, for some reason, you do not touch him so much anymore, he may complain about it. 

7. Ask for his Compliments

You can test a guy to know how he feels about you by observing the kind of compliments he gives you. Or by how often he compliments you in the first place. 

A guy who gives you a lot of compliments loves you. A guy who does not give you a lot does not love you. These things are fairly simple. 

Do stuff that warrants a compliment from your man. 

If he does not compliment you, you may have to question his love just this once. 

If he does compliment you, then you should chill. He loves you. 

8. The Jealousy Test

Guys who are deeply in love with their women are very territorial. 

This means they will always pass the jealousy test. 

The jealousy test is simple, and you have to find ways to do it your own way. The principle is this: make him jealous, and if he responds with intense jealousy, then he most certainly likes you. 

You should be careful not to overstep so that he does not begin to harbor suspicions which may eventually destroy his trust in you. 

Read: 10 Signs the No-Contact Rule is Working

9. The Mixed Signal Test

Test him if he really loves you by giving him mixed signals for a while. It should not last for more than a week.

If he loves you, he is going to sniff it out and ask what is wrong. 

10. Talk to Him

No test you test your guy will give you the assurance and peace that talking is going to give you. So, talk to your man about what you feel. 

Tell him you feel like he does not love you enough and will want that he makes his feelings clearer from time to time.

Trust me; this is going to deepen the feelings you have for each other. 

Read: How To Stop Attracting The Wrong Men


We all get insecure from time to time. Testing your man, if he loves you, at those points can help with making you feel better.

Don’t just overdo it. Have a balance.

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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