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How to Test a Guy to Keep Him Interested

by | Love

Oct 5, 2022

The idea of testing men to keep them interested is rooted in contrast between the masculine and the feminine. 

The masculine typically loves to solve problems; it is usually compared to yin, whereas the feminine is usually compared to yang, which is chaos. Both masculine and feminine come together to create a balance in relationships. 

So, testing a guy to keep him interested will involve you pushing him forward using your feminity so that he betters himself as well as paying more attention to your relationship. 

Here’s how to test a guy to keep him interested in you.

1. Testing Him Doesn’t Translate to Being Toxic

The idea of testing a man to keep him interested is not the same as forcing a man to stay in your life by manipulating him emotionally.

The latter is abusive and unfair. 

The first is just you making sure you only end up with people who are ready to pass a couple of tests to secure a place in your life—I like to tell women that the only way to end up with the right man is to observe how willing they are to be interested in you. 

2. Be Yourself

The best test you can give a man, really, is a subconscious one. This means you barely have to put any effort into it. You just live, doing you, while he is faced with a test. 

When you are yourself, refusing to change bits of you just so he can become more comfortable, you are sending a subtle signal that reads: “Hey, I will be myself. You can choose to be here, or you can choose to leave.” 

The easy thing to believe is that he will leave. But here is the thing, men are not that way. Most men love a challenge, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. He will stick around and pass your test. 

Related: 10 Signs a Guy is Interested in You

3. The Boundary Test

A great way to test a man to keep him interested is by establishing strong boundaries that govern both him and your relationship. 

For example, you can say that you would not pick up the phone whenever he calls past 10 p.m. 

If you stick to this boundary, he is going to respect you. And for men, respect means interest and attraction—a man who respects and understands that you can be trusted and loved. He is going to do just that—love you. 

4. The Reveal Little Test

It is quite counterproductive to tell a man everything about you. 

Relationships between the sexes usually depend on how much is figured out. If you let a man completely figure out so that there is too little to figure, you are telling him that you do not present quite the challenge. He will leave. 

On the other hand, if you keep some vital things about yourself to yourself, unraveling little by little, you are going to pique his interest. He will want to understand you more. 

5. “I Have a Life Outside You” Test

Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who has a life outside him. The truth is that the moment you make a man understand that you have no life outside him, you have lost that man. He will begin to dissociate from you because he already has the power to, whereas you don’t have that power. 

Show a man you have a life outside him. 

—Put up posts stating what your hobbies are. 

—Take pictures of yourself in a bar or sports arena. 

—Take pictures of you at work. 

—Put out your successes if you are that kind of person who is fine with putting their success out there. 

He will understand his place in your life when he sees these because he knows that you will do just fine whether or not he sticks around. 

Read: 10 Ways to Make Him Crazy For You

6. The ‘I have Friends’ Who are Not You Test

When a man knows your social life is not built solely upon him and what he has to offer you, he will be more interested in you. 

You don’t have to put it out in his face that you have a life outside him. He should be able to see it for himself. 

Go out with your friends if you want to. Take pictures. This is going to make him a tad jealous, and I tell you what: jealousy is quite great for improving attraction. 

Healthy jealousy spells out interest. 

7. Let Him Seek You Out; Don’t Tell Until Asked

This does not suggest that you set up a communication gap between you both. Rather, it suggests that you allow him room to seek you out sometimes. 

You shouldn’t go complaining to him whenever you are having difficulty. Instead, you should allow him to seek you out sometimes. 

Let’s say you have had a bad day. Instead of just telling him, allow him to come and ask what’s wrong with your mood. Only people who show concern should be allowed in your life. 

8. Give Him Space

Few things are worse than being in a man’s face every minute. Be sure of one thing: if you are in a man’s face all the time, he will take you for granted and eventually lose interest in you. 

—Give him space once in a while. 

—Become less responsive if you have to. 

—Don’t respond to his texts too often.

Read: 10 Signs The Guy You’re Dating Is A Player In Disguise

9. Be Sexy

Yes, by all means, girl, put on sexy clothes that accentuate those curves and make you the center of attention. 

If you become the center of attention to many guys, you will be the center of attraction to your guy. Remember that men love a challenge. Show him you have got options, and he will stick around.

10. Show Him You are Fine With Leaving

The truth is, nothing is more attractive than the ability to walk away when things get uncomfortable and when boundaries are crossed. 

Show him you are fine with walking away if he misbehaves. Interest grows when a man knows he is not the center of your world. 

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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