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How To Stop Attracting The Wrong Men

by | Dating Tips

May 7, 2023

If you feel like you only attract the wrong men, you are not alone. More women than you think also admit to having similar issues. Luckily, it is a problem that has an easy fix. We guide you through how you can stop attracting the wrong dudes into your life. 

1. Become a High-Value Woman

The first responsibility when trying to attract good men and not ones who come in to ruin you rests largely on you. 

You need to become a high-value woman to stop attracting the wrong men. A high-value woman is a term that is used to describe women who are preferred as long-term dates by men interested in love and commitment. 

A high-value woman, as a rule, will only attract high-value men, as her most visible traits are going to scare off the wrong ones. 

We asked Artem, now 30, who admits to being a playboy when he was much younger, what he thinks about high-value women. 

His response was: “Playboys know women who are high value and know to avoid these women because the attraction is just not there.”

We have an article up about how you can become a high-value woman. Do have a great read. 

2. Stop Talking to Dudes Who You Think Are Wrong for You

The best way to make sure new kinds of men come into your life is to find ways to remove the old ones.

If you keep talking to dudes that you can tell are wrong for you, you will keep attracting only the wrong dudes. 

This is because attraction works in a rather weird way. We will attract the things we see every day. This is because these things are easy for the world to bring into our lives. They are, of course, our present reality. 

Your present reality has to change. 

3. Don’t be Too Concerned About Having a Man

Desperation can confuse the universe. When you are too anxious about having something, you will most times get a caricature of that thing. 

Go on, ask everyone you know who has been scammed or catfished before. I can bet you at least ninety percent of these people will agree that they had been a bit desperate. 

To stop attracting the wrong kind of men, don’t be too concerned about having a man. Convince yourself that you can wait. You should wait. Good things, they say, come to those who wait. 

Read: Do Guys Know When They Have Met The One?

4. Have Standards

People will often fight you for having standards. But the truth about having standards is that they put you on the right track. 

They serve as a guide to your desires. And guided desires often bring well-refined results. 

Don’t just settle for whatever comes. I have mentioned that you make your reality in life and in love. 

Practice imagining what kind of man you would love to have in your life. Convince yourself that you sure can have him. Do this long enough, and one day, you will be surprised to find that you only attract the kind of men you once wished for. 

5. Learn to Take responsibility

Women who must stop attracting the wrong men must learn to take responsibility for their actions.

Responsibility is simply holding yourself to certain standards. Don’t just make standards for the men in your life. 

Imagine the woman you have to be in order to be loved by this man, and try to be her. 

If you wish to drive a nice car, for example, you must begin to find ways to earn more money. Because, in reality, no matter how badly you wish for a thing, you are not going to get it except you put in the work. 

6. Do not Listen to Your Friends’ Sob Stories About Men

I doubt there is any woman who does not have friends who complain so much about men. 

It may seem like a perfectly harmless thing at first, but do you know listening to your friends tell you sob stories about men can make you attract the wrong men? 

What you listen to becomes what you think. And what you think eventually becomes your reality. 

You see, listening to sob stories about men is going to make you admit that stereotypes are true. You may start to agree that all men are the same and that all of them are just out to play you. 

Read: 15 Simple Ways To Make Your Man Happy

7. Listen to Stories From Happy Women in Happy Relationships

Rather than listen to sob stories, listen to stories from happy women in happy relationships. This is going to do two things: 

— First, it will bring to your consciousness that there are very good men out there.

— And then it is going to help you maintain your standards. You will become very unwilling to settle for just anything that comes around you.

8. Improve Your Mood

It is possible that you keep attracting the wrong men because your mood is consistently dull. 

Zen priests consider our moods as vibrations. Low vibrations mean low results. In contrast, high vibrations mean high results. 

If you change your mood by, first of all, changing thoughts about yourself and about others, you will be surprised by how much good begins to find a way into your life. 

Smile more. Be warmer and more open to meeting new people and listening to them. Go back to being in love with life and with yourself. 

9. Fix any Attachment Issues You Have

In our article, Types of Guys and What Your Attraction to Them Says About You, we discuss the role of your attachment style in attraction. 

You may be drawn to the wrong guys because you have an unhealthy attachment style. 

It is likely you may even be codependent as well. With a healthy attachment style, you will only attract good guys. 

10. Be Yourself

Yes, you don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. You can attract the right people by just being yourself. 

In fact, it is possible that you keep attracting the wrong guys because you’ve been pretending!


There are enough good guys out there to go around. Say goodbye to the drama and hello to the love that lifts you up!

By QuietYearning Editors

The QuietYearning Team covers everything from relationships to lifestyle to parenting and more. Its team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on relationships.

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