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How to Make Love to a Man

by | Sensual Intimacy

May 8, 2024

There are times when it stops being just sex. When it becomes making love, getting into the moment, and enjoying the trueness of vulnerability. If you have ever reached this point of lovemaking, you can tell that orgasms become easier to achieve, and bonding happens pretty fast. 

As much as they love having you sleep with them, they love it better when you do it right. Many men I’ve encountered like to recount the experiences of women making love to them with dread. 

Tommy said, “I have only ever had one girl make love to me in a way that I enjoyed.” When I went further to ask why, he said, “Many other girls do not ever get it right. They are either humping on the D like it’s some kind of horse or making it painstakingly slow. I tell all of them it’s the best sex I’ve ever had to avoid a crying woman on my hands”. 

Pleasuring a man might seem as easy as getting on him and just humping a few times, but trust me, it isn’t. Don’t freak out just yet. This article is here to teach you all you need to know about making love to a man.

1. Love them

You will find it hard to make love to anyone if you do not love them at least. Lovemaking is not possible if there is no emotion, especially if you are demisexual. A surprising number of women turn out to be demisexual. 

It is possible that you are. 

Check out a couple of our articles about demi-sexuality to know more about the subject. 

2. Get rid of mental barriers

Most of the barriers against sex only exist in our heads. If we feel some kind of way about sex, there is a big chance that our bodies will adapt to these feelings and attempt to simulate them. 

Sometimes, it is even so bad one is unable to reach that point of heightened physical stimulation. 

If you want to make love, get rid of every mental barrier and come to see sex as something that is to be enjoyed. 

3. Get in the mood

As much as a lot of people often argue against it, there are proper moods for making love. 

When you are in any of these moods, it is easier to surrender your body, to merge yourself with someone else, to explore.

There are a number of ways to get in the mood. Some of the most common include watching movies. We have an article up about some movies that can put you in the mood. You should check these movies out. 

Songs are also a great way to get into the mood. Listen to sensual songs with your partner. 

Read: 10 Movies to Get You in The Mood

4. Enjoy the sex too

Although this article is about pleasing a man, one sure way to please a man during sex is to enjoy it, too. They love it. Remember, it’s sex, not game time. He knows when you’re making it all about him, and this would definitely make him feel like you’re doing a hard chore, and he would feel bad. The whole idea of pleasuring him would have been lost when it was just beginning.

5. Maintain a steady rhythm

Men enjoy being ridden more when a rhythm is maintained. Imagine this scenario: you work at an organization that is known for notoriously shuffling workers between departments. 

You won’t believe it at first until you start working there. You first get posted to a department you like and are comfortable with, and all of a sudden, you are changed to another. The process of getting acquainted begins again, and this changes you three times over the next four weeks. 

It gets tiring, right? It’s the same thing. A man starts to enjoy a certain movement you’re doing on his dick, and you keep changing the rhythm. It’s frustrating. 

6. Take kisses seriously

For real, do not rush kisses. When asked what they considered most sensual in bed, most of the women who responded to us agreed that kissing topped the list. 

Pearl told us: “Nothing beats kissing. It is, for me, the most sensual thing I can do with anyone. Moments shared kissing is the best in bed.” 

We even asked men, and whilst some of them mentioned some other activity as being the most sensual, many more agreed that kissing was the closest to heart. 

Hanruel also said: It is hard to choose, but I will choose “kissing.” That, for me, is one of the most sensual things ever. 

7. Find out if he likes being spanked

Spanking a straight man who doesn’t have that fetish could be the fastest way to make him lose his erection. As cute as spanking him on the behind might seem, you cannot just do it without knowing first if he likes it. While some men do, others do not. Just find out playfully during a conversation. If you don’t know before sleeping with him, don’t do it. 

Read: How to Perform a Strip Tease That Doesn’t Fail to Seduce Him

8. Do not rush

Lovemaking is not something that can be rushed. For you to truly enjoy every second, you will have to take your time. This means letting things go on for as long as they should.

This may sound cliché, but I am going to say: follow your heart. Or better put, follow your body and your heart. 

Let yourself embrace every feeling of pleasure for as long as possible. You don’t have to think the sex is taking too long. If it wants to go on as long as an hour or two, let it. Do not rush. 

9. Take away physical barriers

I mentioned earlier that there are a number of mental barriers against sex. Of course, there are also a number of physical barriers too. 

For example, if you are not wet enough, the pain from the friction is going to antagonize that sex. If there is a strong smell, let’s say smoke, you may also react to it and end up not having the kind of lovemaking you crave. 

If you have problems with getting wet, I suggest you use lube. 

We have an article up on the best kinds of lube you should consider using. There is quite a number, and they can surely help you have better sex. 

Read: 11 Best Oils to Use as Lube & Alternatives to Avoid

10. Express what you feel

When you make love, I can bet you will feel a whole lot of emotions and feelings. You should not bottle these feelings. This is going to make the sex feel forced for both you and your partner. 

Instead, you should find healthy ways to express what you feel. Your expression is also a means to communicate with your partner; to tell them: “Hey, you are doing this just right,” or to say, “I don’t think you are doing it so well.” 

In all, it is going to make the sex much better. 

Some great ways to express yourself during lovemaking are moaning your partner’s name, grabbing him tighter, or maybe even holding him in a hug. It is a good thing to hug your partner when you have sex. 

Read: How to Cuddle | Tips for Cuddling

11. Pay attention to him too

As much as you should enjoy yourself when you get down with your partner, you should also ensure that your partner enjoys himself as well. 

Making love is like falling in love. I don’t even like to use the term: “Falling in love.” Because falling makes it seem like something you do on your own—The better way to think about love is by walking into love. 

Holding each other and walking into this place of bliss. 

Making love should be the same thing. You both have to hold each other’s hands and walk. Don’t leave your partner behind. 

12. Make eye contact

Men love eye contact in the bedroom. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and during intense moments like that, men like to think that they can make out an emotional connection by staring into your eyes. 

That surely makes them feel good. Stare into his eyes, girl, and watch how he begins to enjoy as you make sweet love to him even more.

13. Get in your head

If there is any time to create fantasies in your head and of your partner, it is now. 

It may also help you reach orgasm faster. We know this because we reached out to a couple of women who had tried fantasizing about their partners during sex. Most of them said it helped them reach orgasm and made the loving more intense. 

14. Lock fingers

Yes, lock your fingers with your partner’s. It can make the “loving” sweeter and better. 

Also, stare into their eyes. It is said that the eye is the window of your body. Let love leap into this window. 

Read: How to Please a Man in Bed

15. He loves it when you try out new positions on his body

Men are adventurous beings. Adventure equals uncertainty. When you add tons of mystery to the mix, you make him go crazy. Step out of the everyday cowgirl and try something new. You’d stun him, but he would get the hang of it and be pleased very much. 

16. He wants to see all of your body

Usually, some women do not feel so good about their bodies because they might have a FUPA (upper body fat) or a couple of stretch marks, and hence, they feel these things would turn the man off. Trust me, he’s seen all these things you think are imperfections, and he loves them. 

It’s the very reason he’s sleeping with you anyway. Don’t try to hide your body from him when sleeping with him by switching off all the lights. He wants to see all that. You can have sex in front of a mirror to help his view.

17. Sometimes, be the dominatrix

Even if men would not admit this, they like being bossed around in bed. Don’t be shy. Tell him what to do. It’s a major turn-on. Give him instructions, and when he doesn’t do what you want him to properly, punish him, but respect boundaries, though. Just tease, don’t get offensive. Trust me, he loves it.

18. He wants you to talk about his fetishes with him and do them

Sometimes, men do not talk about their fetishes for fear of being judged by their women. Even if they want you to make love to them in a certain way, they wouldn’t say a word. 

Take the initiative to talk about fetishes with your man today, and if it’s something you are comfortable with, who says you can’t try them out? 

19. Bring food into the mix

I just think adding junk food adds all the kink you need and fills the stomach. You can tease him by putting ice cream or honey on specific areas of his body. Lick it off slowly and watch him squirm. 

10. Don’t pull too hard or bite on a dick

Although I have come to know blood fills the dick when it is erect and gives it that hardness, I like to think it’s a bone in there. Why, then, is it called a boner

When giving a man a hand job, avoid pulling at his penis or rough handling his balls. They might not look like it, but trust me, those babies are more delicate than they let on. If you like playing, don’t try to bend the dick while it’s erect. 

That is another fast way to make him lose his erection. If it’s a blow job you’re giving, by all means, avoid adding your teeth to the equation. They could scrape the penis and open little sores, which can be very painful. During a blow job, make sure the penis is properly lubricated before doing anything.  


Making love with your partner is one of the most magical things ever. Make love to him good when you can!

By Emilie Schleif

Emilie Schleif is a Lifestyle Writer at Whatsdalatest, where she covers all things relationships and wellness—born and raised in La Canada Flintridge. She currently lives in Hamburg and loves running, hiking, and walking with her dog, Jasper.

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