QuietYearning Logo Light

About Us

Contact Us

Sign Up

How to know she is losing interest and what to do

by | Love

Mar 2, 2024

While love is a fairly stable emotion that never really goes away, romantic interest is quite volatile. It is like a flame that dies when no one fans it. This means your woman is likely to lose interest in you at some point if you don’t do a lot of things right. In this article, I will be showing you a couple of things that point to the fact that she is losing interest. I’ll also be showing you what to do.

1. If you have been distant

She will not just get up one morning and lose interest in you. I have not seen that happen before. 

Her loss of interest is mostly going to be a reaction to your actions. 

It all begins and ends with you. This is something a lot of men do not understand. 

Women like to be led in a relationship. They want the man to provide direction to their interest and affection. 

They want the man to demand love in the way he wants to be loved. So, the moment he becomes distant, most women will lose that sense of direction and begin to put their affection on other people. 

2. If you have been too available

Quite ironic, isn’t it?

While love is an emotion that grows where it feels safe, in the warmth of embraces, in the beauty of a well-spoken and understood love language, attraction does not exactly love that much safety. 

Attraction prefers to grow in space, on rocky ground. 

Imagine love to be a gentle flower that needs good, loamy soil to grow on. 

Now, imagine attraction to be a flower that grows on stubborn soil. 

Both are beautiful flowers. But both need different mediums to thrive. 

If you are always available to her, you replace the rocky soil attraction needs to thrive on with something more fluid. The attraction will, therefore, begin to shrink.

This is why you will hear women say things like this about their exes: “He was too nice. I just did not feel the spark anymore.”

That spark refers to interest. To attraction. 

And trust me, the guy caused it. 

Read: How to know she is completely done with you

3. If she forgives too easily

Women are also known to give emotional and mental direction to men they love. 

When a woman loves you very much, she unknowingly becomes something of a mother to you. 

She begins to guide your responses to the outside world. Telling you when you may have overreacted and when you needed to have acted more.

They express a lot of displeasure when you make the same mistakes over and over and will often hold onto that displeasure until you get the point. 

Whilst a woman who is still interested in you will likely frown all day until you come around and ask what is going on, a woman who is gradually losing internet will not. 

She will let you do what you want without giving much thought to it. 

I have seen this happen so many times. It is a pattern that does not fail to show itself in the later parts of relationships headed straight towards a breakup. 

4. She begins to talk to new people

By new people, I mean men. 

A woman who is interested in you will almost always make you the object of her attraction. This means that people will mean little to nothing to her. 

She will not care about their opinions. As long as you’re there, you’re hers, and she is yours. 

This changes when she begins to lose attraction for you. 

She begins to see the need to speak to other people. Other men. She may not necessarily be flirting with them. But she will come to find them very worthy of speaking with. 

Sometimes, and I see this a lot too, she will be fine with telling them things she does not tell you. 

Read: Signs She’s the One for Keeps and How to Keep Her

5. She becomes far away

Few theories work to describe interest and attraction, as good as the band theory. 

Imagine attraction to be an elastic band that holds you and your partner together. The further you both go from each other, the more force pulls you back together. 

But this has a clause: as long as the elastic limit of the band is not reached.

The moment the elastic properties of the band have been canceled, there will be no pull on either of you anymore. 

She is going to be gone. 

If you feel so much space between you both. Such that it becomes relatively easy to go days and weeks without speaking to each other, then you might want to come to the realization that she is no longer interested in you. 

What to do if she is losing interest

These are what to do if she has lost interest in you or is about to

1. Close up the space

If the reason for the loss of interest is an overgrown space, then you have to close up the space. 

You can do this by making a huge stride: get her a gift.

Get her a gift and establish contact from then on. 

2. Go “No Contact”:

If you sense that the loss of interest is from you being too available for her, then the best thing to do is to go no contact. 

Establish some form of space, not too large anyway, and allow some hard ground for her attraction to grow on. 

Read: Ways to Tell if She May be Messing with You

3. Make her Jealous

Like with most battles fought on emotional terrain, you have to master the art of subtlety with this one. 

You should not make it obvious that you are trying to make her jealous. 

Doing this already puts you on the losing side. But if you can make her jealous without her ever realizing it, then there is a huge chance that her attraction will begin to burst into flames again. 

4. Do you

Sometimes, this is all that is needed. Do you! Be the you that made her attracted in the first place. 


Women lose interest for many reasons. It helps to be a great counterattacker.

By Emilie Schleif

Emilie Schleif is a Lifestyle Writer at Whatsdalatest, where she covers all things relationships and wellness—born and raised in La Canada Flintridge. She currently lives in Hamburg and loves running, hiking, and walking with her dog, Jasper.

Read Next

How to keep your phone conversations interesting
How to keep your phone conversations interesting

Some women still prefer phone calls to texts. This was the result of a survey we conducted by email. More than half of the women said they would rather talk to their lover, or a potential lover, on a phone call than through texting. It goes to show that when it comes...

10 Compliments For a Guy That Will Make His Day
10 Compliments For a Guy That Will Make His Day

It is a lot easier than you think to make a man's day. You just have to place a compliment right, and boom, he will be smiling for the rest of the day. Struggling with finding the right compliment? Here are ten compliments that will shurely make his day. 1. You should...

How to Break the Touch Barrier
How to Break the Touch Barrier

The touch barrier is often a taut and very difficult boundary to push back if you don't know how to push it back. If you do, however, it becomes pretty easy to break. In this article, we show guys how to break the touch barrier with a...

How to Get out of the Space of Uncertainty
How to Get out of the Space of Uncertainty

If you’re in the space of uncertainty in your relationship, you may feel overwhelmed and afraid. Maybe even guilty, especially if it is you who is the uncertain one. In this article, we show you how to get out of the space of uncertainty in eight easy steps.  1. Don’t...

Get our relationship newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest relationship updates from our team.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest