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How to Know a Guy Only Wants Your Help and Nothing More

by | Love

Mar 14, 2023

We all want something. While a lot of us chase genuineness in love and friendships, we should also realize that not everyone wants what we want. If you ever doubt the genuineness of a guy you love, check out these signs, which help you tell a guy who only wants your help and nothing more.

1. He is Too Intense

One thing you have to know about guys who only want your help is that they are very impatient. They are kind to rush things so much you barely know when you fell for them. 

If you ever question whether or not you took things too fast with a guy, then it is a sign that he may have just been playing his cards right and using you for help. 

Take a break if you feel overwhelmed, and ask where this is headed. 

Ask if he feels you both are going a bit too fast. If his answers are too vague, then you have got your answer. 

Read: 20 Ways To Differentiate A Genuine Guy From A Player

2. You Don’t Know Where You Stand

Guys who only need you for help will leave you with a truckload of questions every now and then. 

This means you will spend quite some time questioning whether or not he really is into you. 

This is called a gut feeling, and every one of us gets these haunches. 

You should listen to your gut, especially if it is not being influenced by fear or anxiety.

More often than not, your gut is right. 

3. He Only Shows Up When He Wants Something

Guys who only need your help have a thing for disappearing

Mabel tells us: “He kept disappearing. And whenever I asked, there seemed to be a valuable excuse. So, I was torn between believing my own gut or believing him. In the end, believing him was not worth it at all.”

I don’t think you should wait as long as Mabel did if you have a guy who only randomly shows up when he needs something in your life. 

Act fast: begin by detaching your emotions—

And then let him go completely. 

4. He is Too Nice

Nice guys tend to always have problems getting women. This isn’t because they are nice. If anything, nice guys are not nice at all.

At their core, they are quite deceptive guys who would do anything to have their way, including pretending to be someone they are not. 

Girls who have dealt with nice guys in the past are careful to avoid these guys. But one new to the dating scene may fall for one or two nice guys before the lesson is learned. 

In all, a guy who is too nice is a big red flag. 

The real world is not so nice. And so, anything that is too nice should make you uncomfortable. 

Please understand that ‘nice’ is different from ‘kind.’ Kind guys may not necessarily be nice. But nice guys seem to always be kind. That kind of kindness is faux. 

Read: 10 ways to tell if He is Genuine or just a Player

5. He Always Has Too Many Bad Days

Guys who come at you with their needs may have problems telling you exactly what these needs are. 

So, they will signal you. That is, they will give you cues that your help is needed. 

Rather than say: “I would love for you to send me some money.” They will usually whine about how messed up the economy has become lately. 

They will whine about what they could be able to achieve if some magical being (they are referring to you) could give them a couple of bucks. 

6. They Complain About Fake Friends

You just have to get into the mind of a leaching guy to understand why they always complain about fake friends. 

Lam, a 24-year-old who once went after women just for what they could offer him, was kind enough to offer us this opportunity: “I felt entitled. Of course, I was cute. And I was nice to them. So why didn’t they give me what I wanted?”

Because they feel entitled, guys who only come around you for the help you can offer are going to complain a lot.

7. They are Never There When You Need Them

Guys who only come to you for help are, of course, only going to be around when they need to be helped. 

They are almost never available when you need them.

Daniele told us, speaking about her ex: “He was always there whenever he needed something. But the minute I needed some kind of help, he would be nowhere to be found. This made me question myself a lot.” 

If you feel, even slightly, like you are in Daniele’s shoes, then it is very likely you are dealing with a guy who only needs your help and nothing more. 

Read: 10 Signs The Guy You’re Dating Is A Player In Disguise

8. You Feel it is One-Sided

He may not be the absent kind. He may be there when you need him a couple of times. He may listen to you. But still remain in your life just because he needs to be helped. 

Your gut will usually signal you about what is happening by giving you thoughts that this is one-sided. 

A one-sided relationship is usually abusive—so don’t think for a second that you will be able to cope. You might be able to cope now. But you will be worn out eventually. 

9. He Never Tells You to Chill

Guys who are not only after your help are going to acknowledge it when you try too hard.

Anja told us: “My fiancé usually tells me when to stop. The other day, he said: ‘You stress yourself too much just to see me happy.’

A guy who only wants to be helped by you will almost never feel this way. 

Instead, he is going to feel like you are not doing enough. 

10. Your Friends Agree he is After You for Gains

While you may be love-struck and unable to see him for what he really is, your friends are not. 

So, listen to them if they provide you with any reasons why they believe he is not good enough for you. 

Read: 10 Best Places to Meet Genuine Guys


Not everyone approaches relationships with genuineness. You should always look out for signs that suggest that you are being taken advantage of.

By QuietYearning Editors

The QuietYearning Team covers everything from relationships to lifestyle to parenting and more. Its team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on relationships.

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