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How to Have Anal Sex (Best Anal Sex Positions)

by | Sensual Intimacy

Apr 29, 2024

Anal sex is one of the most confusing parts of sexual relationships between heterosexual couples. They often overthink the moral implications, questioning whether or not it is right. In this article, we answer all your questions regarding anal sex, showing you how to get it right every single time. 

Does anal sex make me gay?

Of course not. Having anal sex with your partner, who is of the opposite gender, does not make you gay. You just have to make sure the sex is consensual. Anything done within the confines of consensual sex should be valued and loved by couples who love themselves.

You are not doing yourself a lot of good by placing a boundary on the kind of sex and the pleasure you feel. It is great to be open. Be open with each other and be even more open to exploring each other’s body. 

Will anal sex give me HIV?

I am answering this because I have seen this one too many times in emails and on Quora. Each time I see it, I cannot help but laugh. It is funny how we need more sex education. 

No, anal sex cannot give you HIV. Having anal sex with someone who has HIV can give you HIV. The chances of getting HIV when you have anal sex are higher, anyway. And this is because of the way the anus is, anatomically.

The anus does not have double layers of the epithelium. It only has a single layer, so viruses and germs can easily pass through, and this includes even HIV. 

Read: How to Sit on a Man’s Face

Will anal sex hurt?

It really shouldn’t. But I will say yes, taking into consideration many other things, such as the tension of your anal muscles and contractions mid-sex. 

Since this is your first time, it may likely hurt because your anxiety is going to make your feel tensed up. And as a result, you will contract your muscles, which will in turn send signals to your brain–these signals will be interpreted as pain. 

You can make yourself feel no hurt by keeping calm and steady. You should also use lubricant. Having sex without lubricant is almost like you begging for pain. You don’t need pain. You need pleasure. Which brings me to my next question:

Will I get an orgasm from anal sex?

Yes, you likely will. Many women have experienced orgasms from having anal sex. The reason is that anal sex also sends pleasure waves up our bodies.

Women like Anabel have said that they have more orgasms when they have anal sex than when they have regular sex. 

“I feel full to the brim like my body is on fire. It is a feeling I cannot describe. It is one to be felt. One is usually unable to describe everything one feels.”

Will my man enjoy it?

Most likely, yes. He will. He may even enjoy it more than he enjoys vaginal sex because the anal canal is tighter than the vaginal canal in a majority of women. 

So, yes, your man is going to enjoy anal sex. You should, however, not do it for him. You should do it for you. Do you want to enjoy anal sex yourself? Do it because of you. 

How to Have Anal Sex 

1. Begin Slow: Anal Plugs Help

Don’t just dive right into having anal sex. Be introduced to it slowly. Over time. Until your mind and your body begin to accept it. 

One of the best ways to be introduced into anal sex is the use of anal plugs. Anal Plugs are small bedroom toys that fit into the anus. They’re smooth and round or oval and give feelings of fullness. 

Most women who have anal sex admit that they begin to love it after they started to use anal plugs. 

Jennifer said: “Anal plugs did the magic for me. I put them on once during sex. And in that moment, I knew that I would come to really love anal sex.”

Daria agrees with Jennifer, in saying: “I used to be scared sick of anal plugs and anal sex until I tried it for the first time. It was amazing,”

2. Choose the Right Lube

The right lube when you have anal sex is as important as your man’s penis during the sex. What I mean is just as sex cannot happen without a penis, anal sex cannot happen without a lube. Except in cases where the woman is turned on by pain anyway. 

Anal sex without lube is surely going to hurt. 

Your best options for lube are water-based lubes. These do not break condoms. They also have this texture on your man’s penis and your anal area you are going to love. They are pretty easy to wash out, too. 

Read: Guide to Clitoral Stimulation for Intense Orgasm

3. Start Slow

Everything about anal sex has to begin slowly. Your man should not go right into you. You should begin with some foreplay, and then pull out the anal plug, after which you rub some lube over your woman’s anus and begin to push your penis inside her. 

One can usually not do with the first stroke maneuver when you are having anal sex. Do the first stroke maneuver right, and your woman is sure to feel the intensity that anal sex brings. 

4. Best Position for Anal Sex

Some of the best positions for anal sex are:


The missionary position is usually the best starting position because it is intense. And more than that, you can look at your partner’s face, knowing when she feels the slightest discomfort. 

The Doggy:

The doggy position is also a great one to have anal sex in. It is very intense and less likely to hurt. Even better, you get to see what you are doing and put in even more effort to not cause pain. 

The Cowgirl:

Turn to this position when you have gotten used to anal sex. It is usually amazing. 

By QuietYearning Editors

The QuietYearning Team covers everything from relationships to lifestyle to parenting and more. Its team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on relationships.

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