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How to Get out of the Space of Uncertainty

by | Love

Jun 5, 2024

If you’re in the space of uncertainty in your relationship, you may feel overwhelmed and afraid. Maybe even guilty, especially if it is you who is the uncertain one. In this article, we show you how to get out of the space of uncertainty in eight easy steps. 

1. Don’t feel guilty

I have seen that guilt creates a lot of space in relationships. Most of the time, when we find ourselves trying to avoid our partners, it is because we feel guilty about something. 

Ubong tells us: “Guilt makes one partner want to go away from the other. It makes them feel like they’re awful.”

If you’re in a space of uncertainty and questioning your relationship, make peace with the fact that it is not your fault. 

2. Don’t push it

Seriously, with spaces, there is nothing to push. These things are called spaces because that is what they are. Pushing them will feel like pushing the air. It will not work. 

You cannot snap yourself back to feeling safe and comfortable in your relationship when you have already entered into a space of uncertainty. 

Just let it be. Don’t push anything. Let yourself be. 

Remember that you are not at fault. That you don’t have to feel guilty. 

Read: What is the Space of Uncertainty in Relationships

3. Observe and understand your feelings

Observing and understanding your feelings is critical in getting out of the space of uncertainty. 

Rather than rush things, it is best you take a sit somewhere and try to understand what you feel. 

A journal can prove to be one of the most helpful tools when you feel conflicted and want to understand your feelings more. 

Get one. 

Now, scribble things. Just right, whatever you feel. First, write what you feel about you. As a person. Then, write what you feel about yourself and your partner. 

Then, write what you feel about being in a relationship. 

Journaling isn’t the same as literary writing. With structured writing, you give too much thought to what you feel and may miss the message these feelings are trying to pass. 

With journaling, you imagine yourself to be before a therapist. You don’t have that much room to worry about what you are feeling. You just write. 

Write whatever gets into your mind. Write for as long as those thoughts keep flowing out of you. 

After that, you should read what you have written. Your feelings are going to be more clear now. You’ll know what you want. That’s a good thing. 

Read: How to Keep a Relationship Journal

4. So, what will it be?

Now answer this: do you want to be out of the space of uncertainty to continue the relationship? Or do you want to be out so you can be single again or go on to date someone? 

You have to be very honest with yourself. 

Don’t allow feelings of guilt to cloud you. Don’t ever make the mistake of dating someone out of pity. I assure you that it will not work. In fact, you’ll be doing them such a big disservice if you continue the relationship when your mind has already left. 

It is best it ends now. That way, they don’t have to deal with a long, tortuous relationship that eventually leads nowhere. 

5. Want out? Break up

There are times when relationships break apart early or too late. As long as the space is there, there is a small chance that a break up may happen. 

Breaking up is one way to get out of the space of uncertainty. It should only be an option if your mind is truly made up. If you know deep inside you that the relationship may not work. 

6. Want in? Establish contact again

If your mind is made up that the relationship should continue, then you should establish contact again. 

Reach out to your partner and be their buddy again. Talk to them about the small things and the big. Even if it feels weird. Your mind may be telling you to stay away. But don’t. Remember that deep down, you now know what should be. You now know that the relationship should continue. 

Talk about the most beautiful memories you both have shared. 

When in doubt, I find that memories have such a big role to play. 

Mark tells us: “Sometimes when I doubt what I feel for my partner, I think of all the beautiful and bright memories. I think of all the times they have made my world bright. And then I am full of hope again that the relationship will work.”

This is how it should be. This is why memories even exist in the first place. To remind us that we are in safe hands. That we are in the right place. 

Read: 10 Signs He Likes You And Wants To Take Things Further

7. Talk about your future

When in the space of uncertainty, it is best if you find ways to talk about your future with your partner. 

The brightness of this future is going to make things clearer and better, eventually taking you out of the space of uncertainty. 

Most relationships that fail to make it past the space of uncertainty fail because the past has a stronger pull than the future. 

If there is anything from your past holding you back despite this renewed assurance that your relationship might work, let it go. 

It might be issues regarding trust. I know it is going to be hard. But let it go. Don’t let anything from the past have that strong a pull on you. 

8. Spend more time together

As you continue to interact, the hold that space of uncertainty has on you is going to grow weaker and weaker. 

Dissipate it completely by spending even more time together. Spend as much time as you need together until you no longer feel any impulsive need to leave your relationship. 

Over time, you will become more confident in the fact that you both can truly work out. 


Getting out of the space of uncertainty is pretty simple. Just let the space clear itself out. 

By QuietYearning Editors

The QuietYearning Team covers everything from relationships to lifestyle to parenting and more. Its team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on relationships.

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