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How to Get an Erection

by | Sensual Intimacy

Jun 17, 2024

Getting a boner should be very easy. However, it is sometimes harder than just a wish or a thought. If you happen to have a problem getting a boner, you have come to the right article. In this article, I will be showing you how to get an erection whenever you want, and you’ll surely be getting one that lasts a while.

1. Shut out the anxiety

Anxiety is not great for you in bed. It really isn’t. It drives your body into panic mode. And in panic mode, many of your body’s smooth muscles and cartilages begin to go haywire. The soft tissues of your penis are not left out. 

In fact, they may even be the first to feel the heat. They may involuntarily get excited or just shut down completely. It is why you may notice that if your erection problems are due to anxiety, you tend to get random erections now and then. 

Pretty random ones for no reason at all. Has that happened to you before? If yes, then please know that it is time to let go of your performance anxiety. 

Let it all go, and come to see sex as something that should be enjoyed. You cannot keep fighting your pleasure. 

Read: 10 Tips for Staying Hard

2. Remove mental blockades

It may not be anxiety this time. It could be anything. A mental blockade or something. 

I knew someone who couldn’t get an erection after being infected with an STI. 

That STI really traumatized him. Up to the point where a blockade existed in his mind, such that every time he thought of having sex, even when he had managed to achieve a small erection, it died away. 

I was lucky enough to talk to him before putting up this article. 

I asked him three questions. 

The first was: “How bad were your erection problems?”

To that, he said: “I won’t lie. They were quite bad. It was almost impossible to get an erection, really. I tried time and time again, but each time felt like hitting a wall.”

The second: “How did you get through it?”

To that, he said: “I changed my idea about sex. I began to see sex like just what it should be: a means for me to achieve and sustain pleasure.”

It is the second answer that is very interesting to us now. Whatever traumatic experience you have had around sex, it is time to let it go. It is time to come to see sex like what sex should really be: a means for you to enjoy yourself. 

Remove the mental blockades. All of them. While you may be tempted to, don’t give in to the temptation of thinking that you can do it all at once. 

Give yourself some time. Even if all it takes is removing one blockade every week, as long as you are making progress, no matter how slow, you should give yourself some accolades and keep reaching for better. For more. This is how you win against sexual trauma. 

If this does not help, you can talk to a sex therapist. I have known sex therapists to be very helpful with these things. 

Read: How to Improve Your Erection Without Any Pills

3. Fix any porn addiction

If you’re trying to get a boner that lasts really long anytime you want it, then it may be time to fix your porn addiction

Porn is often very harmless at first. Until it becomes harmful. 

The harm it causes you is very psychological. It changed your view of sex. It begins to make sex look like a game of perfection and forces you to create fantasies high in the skies. Fantasies that will often be impossible to fill. 

Levy, a college student who had once been addicted to porn, tells us: “Porn can make it impossible for you to have an erection by making sex look very unreal. It can set the expectations of some people so high that the bodies of real-life women no longer look so appealing because the fantasies of perfect bodies have been cemented too strong.”

If you notice that your erection problems start because you have gotten addicted to porn, then it may be time to wave pornography a big goodbye. 

Don’t depend on it for your arousal anymore. 

4. Exercise

Exercise can improve your blood flow. Your erection, as you may already know, is very dependent on your blood flow. 

You get an erection when blood flows into the soft tissues of your penis. Anything that impedes the flow of blood is going to mess with your erection. 

Luckily, exercise can make blood flow more streamlined and make it easy for you to get an erection. 

You don’t have to hit the gym or anything. You can start by moving more. Sometimes, just an increase in physical activity can produce such a huge difference. 

You can run around your house some more or just jog in the morning. 

Read: How to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation

5. Lose some weight

This one tackles the hormonal side of erections. It has been shown that men who are overweight have much less testosterone than they’re supposed to. 

Testosterone is the male hormone and coordinates a lot of functions that aid male sexuality, including an erection. When your testosterone levels are high, you are likely to see a marked drop in your libido and drive to have sex. 

And even if this drop is absent, you may notice that it is harder to get an erection. 

Lose some pounds, and that might be all it takes to get your sex life back on track. 

6. Try some more

You’re not going to give up, are you?

If you want to get a boner, don’t stop until you get a boner. 

Even if it means you keep trying over and over, then do it. Do it as often as it takes until one day you have a boner. 

Some medication may help. But I wouldn’t count on that, at least not until your doctor says something about it. 


Getting a boner is easy. 

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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