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How to Finger Yourself

by | Sensual Intimacy

Jun 17, 2024

Self-pleasure is something every woman who takes her sexual health seriously must have tried or thought about trying at least once. This article is written for women who have considered self-pleasure but are still unable to get the hang of it. We show you practical tips to finger yourself better and bump into orgasms each time.

1. Clean hands

Clean hands are a must when you are trying to touch yourself. You cannot touch yourself without cleaning your hands first because dirty hands always present the risk of infections. Most of the organisms that cause infections of the female genital area and the urinary tract can be found in the nail beds. 

So, if your nails are long, it may be time to cut them. If you don’t want to, be sure to properly clean them so there is no dirt and debris. 

I think it is best for you to just rub a hand sanitizer. 

2. Remove mental blockades

Mental blockades can stand in the way of your physical pleasure because sexual pleasure is not isolated to the body alone. It can be a thing of perception. 

Lilan says: “If you feel like you are going to have and enjoy sex, then you will. But if your mind is against you having sexual pleasure, no matter how you flick your bean, you may not get the kind of pleasure you are after.”

Start by removing anxiety. Or guilt. Some women who are masturbating for the first time may have problems with guilt. Remove it from your mind. Have in mind to enjoy your sex. 

Read: How to Tell a Guy You Want to Make Love

3. Get in the mood

Well, getting in the mood is just the thing to do if you are trying to enjoy your fingering session. 

Getting in the mood is easy. You just have to make sure:

You don’t feel watched:

If you feel watched, you may not really enjoy fingering yourself. So be sure you’re in someplace where you are alone, with no windows or doors open, nor the possibility that someone may walk in. 

Your lighting is perfect:

Make sure your lighting is perfect. You should not masturbate when the light is too bright. It should be dull, possibly blue. Blue lights make the best fingering companions. 

Use the right music:

The right music is going to put you right in the mood. You should select the best sex playlists and play them from a speaker. We will be putting up an article about the best sex playlists to listen to soon. 

Read: How to Make Love to a Man

4. Erotica and adult movies

Erotic books and adult movies can make you very wet. And that’s one thing you want to be before you begin to finger yourself. 

Get the best erotic books to turn you on. Or, if you’re in a rush, you can check out short stories. We published an article about the best Erotic short stories to read. You can check it out by following this link. 

Adult movies are a great idea too. Some of the best adult movies to see are easy to find. So easy, you are a website away. See one. Get in the mood, and get ready to touch yourself. 

5. Touch your clit

Your clit is about the most arousing part of your body. It has thousands of nerve endings that, if touched properly, will make your orgasms closer.  

You should not just touch your clitoris sporadically. 

It should be some rhythmic touching. Like you are actually having sex.

Ivy says: “Touching your clit with a rhythm is going to get you close to an orgasm faster. Our bodies are used to rhythms in bed, even when you are going solo.”

There are a few techniques to stroke your clit. These include:

The rolling ball:

Turn your clit into a ball and roll your thumb over it. This is going to send such a huge wave of pleasure up your body for sure. 

The presser: 

With this technique, you press down on your clit with little force over and over. It is usually a great idea to combine the rolling ball with the presser.

6. Touch your labia

Your labia is one of the very sensual areas on your genital area too. The word labia means lips. So, your labia are the lips of your vagina. 

Touch their outer surface and then the inner. Rub them sensually, maybe at the same time with your clit if you can pull off such a maneuver. 

It promises very high sensations of pleasure. 

Read: How to Achieve a Full Body Orgasms

7. Touch your other zones

Your body has other zones that can make you feel the fullness of pleasure. Everyone has theirs. It is left for you to find yours. 

Some of the most universal zones for women are: the inner thighs, the breasts, etc. 

Some women admit that they have deeper feelings of sexual pleasure when they touch their nipples. Try touching yours. If it feels very good, then keep touching. 

8. Lube

You should consider using lube if you find that you are not wet enough. Many women like to think using lube is a weakness. But I promise you it is not. That you use lube does not mean there is something wrong with you or your sex life. It can be the opposite, actually. 

If you notice that you are consistently getting dry, it may be time for you to stay away from the AC when you are having sex or masturbating. 

9. Touch anal area

Touching your anal area is also a great way to finger yourself into other forms of pleasure. You don’t have to stick your finger into your vagina. But just touching your anal area might help. 

Read: Female Orgasms: Reasons You Don’t Have Them (and What to Do)

10. Try more fingers

Push in one or more fingers, filling your vagina up. More fingers may mean more pleasure. It often does. Just be sure not to elicit any feelings of pain. 


Fingering yourself as a woman can be a physical and emotional thing. As you touch yourself, be sure to connect with what’s on your mind. 

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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