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How to be the special guy

by | Meeting People, Moving On

May 15, 2024

The truth is, she has a lot of men already after her. And a lot of these men keep fighting to be in her top spot. In this article, we will show you how to be the special guy that she decides to go after. Our tips are going to make the dating and seduction phase pretty easy for you.

1. Don’t compensate

One of the mistakes many guys make is trying to compensate. 

With women, overcompensation doesn’t exactly work because it reeks of desperation.

It helps to accept that desperation is the number 1 killer of attraction. And women are able to spot desperation from miles away. As soon as the guy begins to show signs that he is desperate, something in the woman drives her to remove herself from that man.

It is sometimes hard to know when you’re overcompensating because you don’t think it means anything or because you may be in denial. 

Some key signs that you’re overcompensating include:

  • You give up your time, and I mean your productive time, just so you can speak to her. The moment your interaction with a woman begins to affect your productivity, then you are overcompensating and being desperate. You should speak to her in your leisure moments.  That is exactly what she’s doing herself. Very few women will give up their productive time just to speak with a man. 
  • You have to buy her time: whether a lot of men accept it or not, the truth is that far too many men try to buy a woman’s time and affection. You really cannot negotiate true attraction—you should not even try to because not only are you going to fail, but you are also going to make a fool of yourself too. 
  • You suppress your own needs: if you feel the need to suppress your own needs, then it is very likely that you’re overcompensating and this is not going to make you that special guy. It’s just going to make you like the rest of the guys in her inbox, begging that she notices them. 
  • You’re already loyal: your loyalty as a man should be very expensive. It should be like a priced treasure; you don’t just give it up to anyone. Giving up your loyalty or commitment too early in the interaction can be a form of virtual cycling. A lot of guys do this, and it’s really laughable because you do not virtue signal your way into a woman’s good books. She looks at your false commitment and says: “Oh, wow, he wants to show me he is committed so I can be committed to him as well.”

2. Don’t compete

Women are more observant than we give them credit for. 

A couple of years back, I was in a camp meeting with a group of students like myself. 

There were a lot of men and a lot of women sharing the same space. As soon as we arrived at the camp area, I noticed that some men began to enter into their primitive roles.

They began to compete not just for space in the account area. They also competed for the attention of women. 

In that camp, there were special bed materials. A lot of guys would struggle to acquire special bedding, leaving the less comfortable ones for the other guys who wouldn’t struggle.  

Some even went on and acquired the special beddings for women they thought were attractive enough in the hopes that these women would think them strong and lovely. 

It was in the camp that I learned my biggest lesson about women and the dating experience. 

Previously, I had hoped that the women would gravitate towards men who were able to secure comfortable positions for them. But the opposite happened.  

Almost all the attractive women who attended that camp began to turn towards the guys who did not really care so much. 

The laid-back nature of these men was just too attractive to overlook. 

The same thing happens in the dating scene.

Men who are too eager to compete and eager to please women will not get the attention of these women. At best, they will just get a simple, innocent, and barely sexual interaction. 

If you’re going to be the special guy, you have to prioritize your efforts and attention. Don’t compete. Allow the woman to come to you by pulling her in with an aura of unpredictability.

Read: The Things Women Secretly Want

3. Dominate without trying

Effortless success is one of the most attractive things a person can ever have. 

Women look out for men who are able to dominate and succeed without even trying too hard.

You should show her how effortlessly you dominate. 

In your initial interaction with her, you should dominate from an intellectual standpoint. 

While she brings her emotions and feelings into conversations, dominate from the logical standpoint. Be the very intelligent and calculated guy, but at the same time be less willing to prove yourself. 

Too few guys are able to pull this off. 

And if you are, you’re going to be the guy who doesn’t have any problems getting women. 

4. Have fun while playing the game

A lot of men hate the game. They keep saying that the game is difficult to play and that it’s somewhat manipulative. 

Well, it is true that the game is manipulative but at the same time you don’t have to play by all the rules.

You just have to learn the rules and use them to your advantage. 

This is what makes many guys special. 

Don’t hate the game. Play it. Play it with as much tricky and as much poise as you can.

Most women love the game very much too. If they find someone who can play it as much as them, then they will love this someone very much. 

You’ll become that special guy without even trying to be him. 

Read: How to Trigger Her Sexual Desire

5. Flirt a lot

The special guy is very great at flirting. 

And this is because he’s very bold and really not afraid to flirt.

He knows that flirting with a woman very early only in the interaction is a dangerous zone, but he goes ahead into that zone without fear. 

It is his boldness that makes him special. 

Women like men who are bold and willing and able to take risks. 

Boldness promises her an adventure. 

It promises her that there is going to be a lot of thrill with the man involved. 

Learn how to flirt with a woman properly. One role stands out: flirt along the area of best response. 

If she responds, keep going. If she doesn’t, let it go. 

6. Audacity

I know.  I know. All over social media, women talk about how they really hate it when men have a truckload of audacity. 

One thing you have to come to understand about women and accept as a reality that you can twist to your advantage is that what women like and what women respond to are very different things. 

Women talk about how they like caring guys who get them gifts and flowers and always listen to them when they talk. But such a guy comes along, and what happens? 

The woman friend zones him.

Whereas she responds sexually to the guy whom she keeps talking about hating. 

The point is women don’t hate it when men have audacity. They actually love and are incredibly attracted to this trait. 

Audacity means the man is in control of both himself and the people around him. A woman wants to follow this kind of man, and so she’s going to consider him a very special guy.

7. Humor

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t consider funny people special, and nice to be around. 

Humor is one of the most amazing things that a person can have, especially a man. 

Be that special guy that she truly desires and has an innate affection for by being funny. 

Corner and best her with your sarcastic remarks. 

Make her laugh at herself if you have to. That’s special. Not many guys can make even the darkest situations look funny. And guys who do always make it into a woman’s bed. 

Of all the guys a woman admires, it’s the guy who promises ease, who makes her feel like there’s nothing left to be sad about, that wins. 

This guy always wins. 

Read: How to Make Her Keep Coming Back for More

8. Be homely

Yes, be safe. Women like it when guys are safe and comfortable to be around. 

You don’t have to be the jerk who lets women question themselves all the time. Be the guy who checks up on them every now and then and promises to be there if any difficulties arise. 

Be the guy who takes them on a date they don’t forget in a hurry. Just don’t do it so much that it becomes one of those things that just happen in her mind. 

That’s how you stay special and relevant to her. 

Special guys do special things. Or at least do the same things differently. 

By Ubee

Ubong Johnson (Ubee) is a relationship expert and writer. He writes articles that cover everything from relationships and nutrition to lifestyle. His works have appeared in several literary magazines, including The Shallow Tales Review, Ngiga Review, and the Kalahari Review. He is the founder and editor of Fiction Niche.

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