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How to Be More Attentive to Your Woman During Sex

by | Sensual Intimacy

May 13, 2024

Every woman wants her man to pay attention to her during sex. It goes a long way to make her feel loved and appreciated. In this article, we show you how to make sure your woman feels the most positive and refreshing feelings each time you have sex with her.

1. Seek her pleasure

Selflessness is one of the characters that should show up in bed. 

Women like it when a man is very invested in seeking their pleasure. 

Sadly, many men are very bad at this and would rather seek their own pleasure before even considering the woman’s pleasure. 

As much as you enjoy sex, you should also know that women enjoy sex as well. 

This is such a good start: tell yourself that your woman has a right to enjoy every intimate moment she has with you and that her enjoyment or her pleasure is necessary for your own pleasure as well.    

2. Seek yours

Pleasure does not exist in isolation, especially in the bedroom. 

Your pleasure cannot exist without your woman’s pleasure, and your woman’s pleasure cannot exist without yours. 

So be very, very attentive to making sure you enjoy yourself as much as she enjoys herself. 

One of the very potent antagonists of sexual pleasure is anxiety. 

It will help you to strip yourself of all forms of anxiety and fear. 

Seek your own pleasure, and it encourages your woman to seek hers as well as yours. 

This is healthy for the sexual side of your relationship and usually is going to show itself in other areas of your relationship. 

Nothing that happens in bed isolation. It usually seeps into other areas of your life as a couple.

Couples who learn to seek each other’s pleasure in bed are usually closer to each other outside the bedroom.

They will likely be seen doing stuff together and achieving feats together as a healthy couple.  

Read: How to Give Her the Best Sex She’s Ever Had

3. Listen to her body

As much as you can, you should pay attention to your woman’s body. 

Your woman’s body speaks.

It speaks in the way it moves itself. It speaks in spasms. It speaks in those little shivers and those very unpronounced movements that you may not even notice.

Many times, her body will speak only two languages to you: the language of pleasure and the language of pain. 

If she’s pleasured, she may have shivers—or pelvic spasms. 

Pelvic spasms are very common when a woman nears an orgasm. 

In fact, they are usually a telltale sign that the woman has or is about to experience an orgasm. 

Her body will also, in a reflex, remove itself from pain. 

Most sharp and sudden reflexes that happen in bed are usually a result of pain.  

One of the common, which I have experienced myself, is the reflex of pushing the man away. 

It’ usually happens in positions like the missionary position or perhaps the cowgirl position, and usually happens when the man goes in too deep. 

The woman places her hands on his body and tries to push him away. 

This usually suggests pain, and the man should know to stop what is triggering the pain if it happens. 

Random movements which are not reflexes that push away can also signify pleasure. For example, squeezing hard at the bed sheets. Or pulling you closer. Or basically just trying to experience more of what you’re doing.

4. Watch her expressions

Her face will usually not lie to you.  

Paying attention to a woman’s facial expressions in bed is one of the most attentive things a man can ever do.

Watch her eyes, watch her facial expressions. 

They will tell you when the woman is feeling a lot of pleasure and when this pleasure has gravitated towards something else. 

Watching her facial expressions can also be such an intimate moment in itself. 

Eye contact during sex can increase a couple’s likelihood of bonding with each other. 

Jon told us that: “ I feel really relaxed when I look into my wife’s eyes during sex. It is like staring at the one person who truly loves me. There is a sense of calm and peace I cannot exactly describe.”

Read: How to Make Her Feel Sexual Pleasure

5. Listen to her voice

Be very attentive by listening to her voice as well. 

A woman’s voice will tell you what she feels for sure. 

You are going to be attentive to pitch, loudness, and intensity. 

I have seen or noticed in my personal experience that all sounds that are throaty are usually pain. 

Whereas gentle and just a little loud sounds, can show you that your woman is over the moon right now. 

If your woman is one who doesn’t moan a lot, then you should consider encouraging her to. Many times, women who are not vocally responsive in bed are usually that way because of some hidden and toxic shame. 

Tell her that her vocal response in bed is necessary for a pleasurable outcome.

Or you can just go ahead and show her.  

6. Moan, too

Moaning is also paying attention. 

Because moaning in bed is a form of communication. 

It shows the woman that you truly are invested in what is happening and enjoy every minute of sex with her. 

It’s a compliment in itself. And compliments a very great form of attentiveness. 

Moaning can also encourage a rather unresponsive partner to become more open to the idea of vocal responses. 

I kid you not; vocal responses in bed are amazing. 

7. Do what she loves

The attentive man knows what his woman wants. 

This is why I say that attentive men are known by what happens outside the bed.

An attentive man will already, or at least to some extent, know what his woman desires in bed. 

And he’s not going to think twice before trying to do these activities that his woman loves.

They may be the nastiest things ever. And trust me, women have a lot of nasty desires. 

They don’t just talk about it so much because there is still some stigma around sex. Especially when it has to do with women.  

Remove all her antagonisms against sex. Those mental blockades keep her from truly enjoying the sexual experience.

Do what she loves.    

Read: Things They Don’t Teach You About Sex

8. Let her do what she loves

Every time you let your woman do what she loves in bed, you are being attentive to her. 

I have seen that with many women, there is such a raging desire to pleasure the man.  

This is especially true if they really love the man or have a very strong sexual pull towards him. 

She will be open to doing the nastiest of things, and she’s going to truly enjoy it when she does these things. 

Bear in mind that some of these things she really loves to do are going to be too nasty for you to feel comfortable with. 

I once had a friend whose lover really loved to rim him. I remember him telling me how uncomfortable it made him feel at first, intitially. We laughed over it for some time and then I said: “Why don’t you just try it out? Let yourself go and enjoy this time with your partner?”

He took my advice, and a couple of months later, he came to tell me how that had improved his sexual life. And how it made his woman feel a bit more desired and loved in bed. 

Sometimes, all you have to do is sit back and let her take the wheel. That in itself is also a form of attention. 

9. Breaks are great

I have come to see from personal experience that taking breaks in bed is a great idea, too. 

Sex should not be mechanical. That is to say you don’t have to be a robot who keeps thrusting and thrusting until she eventually cums.

Sadly, this is what a lot of men do. They feel like sex is too serious to play around with, or that sex should just keep happening until either one of the partners has reached orgasm. 

You can always take breaks and the truth is you can’t take as many breaks as you want. 

Take breaks to laugh about the sex. Take breaks to laugh about something you both have done in the past which you want to repeat. 

Be in the moment, love each other, and be happy with what you share. 

Talk sometimes. Ask her what she feels or what she would like to feel. This is how you make her know you’re being attentive. 

10. Kisses

Every now and then, as you both have sex, there will be a need for a bright spark of intimacy to shine. 

Kisses can set that spark shining. 

Lean over and kiss your woman. Look into her eyes. Kiss her again. Share and experience true beauty. 


Every guy owes it to his woman to be attentive to her in bed. Every woman deserves a guy like that. 

By QuietYearning Editors

The QuietYearning Team covers everything from relationships to lifestyle to parenting and more. Its team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on relationships.

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