We spend a lot of time with our significant other. We enjoy cozy movie nights, share meals together, and go on spontaneous adventures — not to mention the daily chats and check-ins!
There’s something incredibly comforting about spending quality time with the person you care about. All the same,between busy schedules and maintaining a sense of independence, it’s easy to wonder if you’re seeing each other too much or too little. After a long day, sometimes we’re just grateful for a quick call or a simple text to stay connected!
How often should you see your partner? This is one of the raging questions we get. In this article, we try to answer this question by looking at the state of one’s relationships and the demands of physical contact. Here is how often you should see your boyfriend/girlfriend.
1. Judging by the phase of your relationship
The frequency with which you visit your partner can be judged based on the phase of the relationship that you are in, with early phases of a relationship demanding more physical contact than later phases.
—New Relationship: A new relationship, for example, is fragile as trust as well as physical intimacy should be exploreddeeper. This means that one has to see their partner fairly often. I say at least once or twice a week, or at most, once in two weeks. The initial meetings can be interspersed between actual dates and meet ups at one’s partner’s house.
—Established Relationship: In established relationships, after attraction has settled and one has known their place in the relationship, a struggle exists to keep attraction from dying away. Too frequent visits can give one’s partner the impression that one is desperate and, eventually, lead to a drop in attraction. This means, in an established relationship that has been running for up to 5 months, it is best to visit sparingly. You can see your partner once in three weeks. And sort of mix it up inbetween. For some months, you can see them up to five times. And for others, you can stick to one or two visits.
—Serious Relationship: During a serious relationship, where attraction has further cemented itself, it is a good idea to see each other more. You would, of course, be open to talking about your future together and maybe even planning to get married. This means more periods of talking and sharing sexual intimacy. It is in this period that you both may even consider moving in with each other.
Read: How often should you text a girl: 8 rules to texting
2. Judging by distance
Another way to answer the question, how often should you visit your boyfriend and girlfriend is on the basis of distance.Distance can be such a strong determining factor to how a relationship goes.
Distance can affect frequency of your visits. It should, really.
—Long distance relationship: A long-distance relationship is one in which both partners are cities away from each other. Depending on how far away you are from yourselves, you can make your visits happen somewhere around once every three months. However, if one partner visits the other partner to spend a holiday in their city, or maybe a work project, there is no harm in seeing your boyfriend or girlfriend every day for the period of their stay.
—Non-long distance relationship: In a relationship that is not long distance, the frequency of stay is expected to be veryreduced. You don’t have to visit all the time. On average, maybe two visits a week is ideal.
3. Judging by your partner’s attachment style
Your partner’s attachment style is also such a big determining factor in how often you see your boyfriend or girlfriend. Some partners have attachment styles that warrant more visits.
—Anxious attachment: If your partner has an anxious attachment style, for example, it is best if you visit them quiteoften. People who have anxious attachment seem to require a lot of closure and a lot of reaffirmation. They want to know that you are still there and still in love with them. So, as much as you can try to be there more. Visit as many times as they want you to, but be careful not to pacify their behavior such that they become even more dependent on you, forgetting what it is like for someone to be a person for themselves.
—Avoidant Attachment: If you’re dating someone who is an avoidant, you have to be aware that they may not reallylike it much if you visit them too often. This is because they often feel overwhelmed by your affection and attention, even when you may be giving these rather innocently and lovingly. It’s not like they don’t like you. They do. They just don’t have what it takes to be around people so often, talking about their feelings and all of that.
Read: What is the relationship phase? Signs you’re in a relationship
4. Judging by relationship stance
How often you should visit your partner can also be judged by the stance of that relationship. A relationship that is going through some struggle or difficulty, for example, will often demand more physical availability of both partners if things are to work.
—Peaceful: If the relationship is peaceful and you both have found ways to communicate your desires even when you are not physically present with each other, it may not be so perfect to visit your partner that often. This may even tip over the balance and make things more difficult for you.
—Problematic: A problematic relationship needs as much time as it can get. When you are having difficulty with your partner, it is important that you try to be there with them and physically solve whatever is bringing about the issues. Staying away can cost you that relationship. In an article, which will be put up soon, we explore solving conflicts together as a couple. We talk about how being present can come such a long way in deepening affection and understanding.
5. Judging by interpersonal projects
People have their own personal projects that need attention—even your boyfriend or girlfriend. You should be sensitive enough to know when your partner is being devoted to something that should have priority access to their time. You should stay away during these times until they reach out to you and ask for your presence. Be mature enough to realize that this doesn’t mean they hate you or anything.
Read: Why He Doesn’t Seem Interested Even Though He Is
Summary
How often you visit your partner should depend on what is going on in both of your lives.
