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How Long is Too Long to Have Sex

by | Sensual Intimacy

May 11, 2024

If you’re having sex, you want to make sure sex is long enough for it to be satisfying, and you and your partner explore at least two different sex style positions. In this article, we will be providing one of the most comprehensive answers to the question, taking a lot of variables into consideration. Enjoy the ride. 

Is it a quickie? 

One of the first questions to answer when you are seeking to know how long is too long to have sex is: is it a quickie? 

If yes, then having it for any more than twenty minutes is too long. 

Quickies should typically last between five to ten minutes. I have had some quickies which lasted for only two to three minutes but turned out to be on top of the list of best sex for me. 

Quickies are meant to be spontaneous. So, taking away that spontaneity, takes away the very essence of having them.

Where is the sex happening? 

Where the sex is happening has such a big part to play when you are considering how long is too long for sex to continue.

If it is happening at your home, you can go on for as long as you want. 

But if it is happening at a friend’s house or in a party setting, then it is best to keep it short. 

Between 30 and 45 minutes should be fine, and anything longer is considered too long. 

Thirty minutes is actually enough for both you and your partner to reach an orgasm. 

What kind of sex is it? 

Surprise, surprise, the kind of sex we are talking about also has an impact on how long the sex should last.

I am going to break the ‘kinds’ of sex down into four: 

– Make Up Sex: make up sex is known to last considerably longer, since it is sex that does not take place all the time but rather on occasion. 

All forms of occasional sex come into play here. That includes sex after being far apart for some time; say, in different cities.

An hour will be my bench mark. Anything considerably (more than ten minutes) longer is going to be too long. 

– Leisure Sex: sex that happens during leisure, or is had, as a form of leisure, should not last too long. It should be between 15 to 30 minutes. 

If it becomes any longer, then it is no longer sex had for leisure. 

Early morning sex falls in this category. You will agree that every time you have sex very early in the morning, you tend to do it because it is some kind of needed early relaxation. 

– Spontaneous Sex: spontaneous sex, like a quickie, should not last so long. 

It should last between 15 and 30 minutes too.

– Exploratory Sex: sometimes, couples have sex as a means to explore each other’s bodies. 

This kind of sex is actually supposed to last long. Because it involves a lot of foreplay and doesn’t have to be rushed. 

No one ever rushes an exploration. No one. So, when next you have exploration sex with your woman, you should try not to give it too much thought. Just go with the flow. 

Are you using a cock ring? 

Cock rings are known to help one sustain an erection. 

You will find it discussed in detail in either of these two articles (the first one is: do penis pumps work, and the other is: how to get hard and stay hard

However, cock rings should not be used for too long, as using them for too long may damage the tissues of your penis. 

You should never use a cock ring for more than 30 minutes. 

If the sex must go on for long, it is best you take the cock ring off for some time and then return to having sex. 

Having sex with a cock ring for more than 30 minutes is too long. 

By Ubee

Ubong Johnson (Ubee) is a relationship expert and writer. He writes articles that cover everything from relationships and nutrition to lifestyle. His works have appeared in several literary magazines, including The Shallow Tales Review, Ngiga Review, and the Kalahari Review. He is the founder and editor of Fiction Niche.

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