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10 Conversation Starters for Women That Dating Experts Swear By

by | Dating Tips

May 31, 2022

Starting a conversation as a lady can be difficult sometimes, especially when it is a conversation with someone you have a crush on, one you’re interested in dating. I’ve been there. I know how you have to fend off so many thoughts before you can finally hit that send button and how your heart beats once you’ve done so. Would he respond, you think? What if he doesn’t? Does he hate me? Relax. Have a crush on someone, and intend to initiate a conversation with him? You don’t need to be an expert to do so. Here are ten conversation starters that almost never fail:

1. “Hey, you’re a (shared interest), huh? I am too. ūüėĆ”

Let’s imagine that your crush shares an interest with you. For example, his profile reads that he loves literature, just like yours. An excellent way, then, to start a conversation with him is to begin by talking about your shared interest.¬†

Like most conversation starters that work, it should be a question. Yes, and the emoji is necessary. Emojis have a calming effect. 

Why it works

This conversation starter always works because shared interests build some form of instant attraction. He’d see your message and go, “Oh, wow, she loves literature too? I bet she is reading my favorite book right now. Maybe we can get to talking about this memoir I am writing.”

2. “Hi, I think I love your smile. Please, don’t blush too hard.”

Believe it or not, men love to be complimented. If a woman compliments a man, it makes him feel appreciated. Men open up when they feel appreciated; they withdraw when they don’t. Appreciate, to men, signals respect. “Oh, she appreciates me? I bet she respects and admires me already.”

And as you know, men are bloodhounds for respect. 

Beginning a conversation with a compliment is a great way to get the response you need. However, compliments sometimes reek desperation. This is why you should follow them up with some humor.

The humor should not be so pronounced it swallows the very essence of the compliment. It should be subtle, giving the compliment its spike. 

3. “Hey, fine man. Are you as bored as me right now?”

Showing interest in starting a conversation with a man is so amazing it almost always works.¬†A man wants to know you wouldn’t bail on him if he gives you a listening ear.

He wants to know you are ready for a conversation. As a rule, follow up this message with a story‚ÄĒany story. Talk about your day, your childhood‚ÄĒanything.¬†

4. “Hi. Okay, so I am shy. I shouldn’t be. But I am. Cute men make me shy.”

This line is everything great. It shows some form of weakness and has latched into it a subtle compliment. Men love to show strength. And this is why they’re subtly attracted to weakness.¬†

A man wants to know a woman needs him. This is not to say you always have to need a man. But if you make a man feel needed, he’d almost always give you his time. When a woman admits weakness, she attracts a man.¬†

Midway through the conversation, after this opening line, you can revert to being yourself once more. Showing excessive weakness is a bad way to begin a relationship.

Read also:
How to make your online dating profile stand out
18 things girls do that guys love

5. “I heard all cute men do is snub. Well. I’m a cute woman. We can both snub each other. Hello, handsome.”

Humor. Humor. Some more humor. Men have a rich sense of humor. And women who have the same? Attractive as the word itself.

Humor is how men communicate most times, and if a woman comes at them with humor, they’d definitely give her attention. Humor is great for igniting a conversation.

6. “Oh, I always get the best men, like this one. Hello, fine mine. Sorry, man.”

This line is a bomb. A man reads this, and you can be sure as sure that he’d go, “Who? Me?” This line serves two purposes.

First, it compliments the man, and then it raises your value. “I always get the best man.” That sentence makes you seem like a high-value woman to men. If you get the best men, then it means you’re a high-value woman. You have his attention!

7. “Hello there, do you want to listen to a stranger talk about her day?”

Great line for a woman to start a conversation with a guy. Although you may feel vulnerable sending this, you just have to send it anyway. By shifting the ball to the man’s court, giving him the power to choose whether or not he’s going to listen to you, you put him in control.

Control attracts men. More than half the time, he is going to say yes. Tell him about your day, and then go on to ask about it. 

8. “Hello. I think I like you.”

This is a risky line. But, believe it or not, it works. Men are different from women in many ways, one of the ways being their directness to the conversation. They do this, which is why most men who have had women around them for long do not expect women to be direct.

Tell a man outright you like him, and he’d be pushed aback. “Wait, what?” There, the shock opens him, and he opens up, seeking to know more.¬†

9. “Hey. I just want you to know that I’d have the courage to text you one day. Bye ūüėāūüėā”

This line works because it’s both humorous and real. Men like realness. Be straight with them sometimes. That’s all it takes. A man would see this and laugh hard. And then he’d most probably say, “Hey, come back. Text me now.” Haha.

10. “Hello there. You stay around (location). Me, too.”

This line is a bit clich√©; I wouldn’t lie. But it works. It is subtle in communicating an interest in meeting up. And as you know, men love to meet up. So why not use this line as a conversation starter!


-Text him now. He isn’t going to ignore you. Look at you. All beautiful and smart. How is he going to ignore that?

Photo by Natasha Hall on Unsplash

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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