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10 Big Bedroom Turn-Offs for Women

by | Love

Aug 3, 2023

It may hurt to hear this, we know. But we have got to say it anyway: there is so much we men do not get right in bed. Weirdly, we often wouldn’t know these things until women talk about them. Twenty-five women spoke to us when we sought answers to the big mistakes men make in bed. Here are the big bedroom turn-offs for women that men should avoid.

1. Being Too Hyped Up

Women put it this way: “Being all hyped up, in a way that makes it seem like you cannot do without this one moment, is creepy.” 

If you are having sex with that woman for the first time, she might see this behavior as you wanting her for just sex. 

Betal said: “It is very obvious to me that a man wants just sex when he is too hyped up, too eager for the sex to happen. It is a big turn-off in the bedroom.”

Rather than rush, try to make her comfortable. One of the easiest and most overlooked ways to make a woman comfortable is waiting until she initiates things. 

Don’t initiate things before she does if you are having sex with her for the first time. 

2. Rushing the Kiss

This is a big bedroom mistake both men and women have in common. I don’t have to tell you why. Kisses are great. They give us time to get in our feels.

A woman wants her man to kiss her long enough before the sex happens. 

And weirdly, she doesn’t want it to be one of those kisses: she wants it to be that kiss that sticks in her mind for a while. 

You should read this article to find out the best kisses that stick to your woman. Learn how to kiss her right.

3. Skipping the Foreplay

You don’t skip foreplay with a woman. It is an unspoken rule that you just have to abide by if you want the sex to be great. Men who skip foreplay are considered a big turn-off by women. 

If she overlooks it now, there will come a time when she is no longer able to. 

Lala tells us a story about a man she once dated. She agreed sex with him was not that bad, the only weird thing being his unwillingness to give her head. She says it became considerably more difficult to keep up with it. 

If you are not fine with giving your partner head, the best you can do is touch her. Give her massages before the sex happens: you know, anything to make her wet.

4. Too Many Teeth Down There

This is another big bedroom mistake that is peculiar to both men and women. It is not so difficult to figure out why. Teeth brushing against the clitoris is going to hurt badly. 

She wants to feel pleasure, not hurt.

Try as much as you can to reduce sensations of hurt. 

You can learn how to give head by reading our guide to giving head here

5.No Spit, Please

Of all the women who agreed to not liking heads that much, about 75 percent told us they did not like to receive heads because it felt messy. By messy, they meant there was a lot of spit: too much spit, actually. 

You do not have to spill spit over her vagina. I know it is the opposite of what men want: but just because you want it does not mean she is going to. 

Spit is not lube. It makes her uncomfortable. Avoid it. 

When you give her head: do so with your tongue and lips: not your whole mouth. 

6. Men whose First Strokes are Whack

Your first stroke is your first impression. If a lot of men knew this, perhaps, they would do a lot better at sex. 

Your woman is most likely going to judge the entire sex by your first stroke. 

Ijay tells us she can know which sex is going to be great and which is going to be whack by just paying attention to the first stroke. 

Here are tips to make sure your first stroke is perfect: 

– Make sure her position is comfortable

– Be sure that she is wet enough 

– Be sure that the surface of your dick is wet as well. 

– Do not just push it all in.

Read: How to Make Her Feel Sexual Pleasure

7. Men who Don’t Ease into the Sex

Sex is not war, Phiona said. And, of course, it is not. Men ought to learn how to ease into sex more. That way, it is easy for women to ease into it as well. 

Let go of every performance anxiety: every need to impress. Just do you, and know this is a moment that could become magical. Love in sex are both very magical aspects of relationships. 

You will come to enjoy them when you know your way around sex. 

8. Not Paying attention

If you paid attention to your woman when you both had sex, you will, of course, notice that each movement, each moan, is her attempt to talk to you. 

Failure to pay attention is considered one of the biggest mistakes to avoid in the bedroom. No woman wants to have sex with a man who does not pay attention to her body: who does not at least try to make her feel an intense surge of pleasure. 

When next you have sex with your woman, be sure to pay attention to everything you do. 

9. Weak Stroke Game

We have stressed a lot about the stroke game. There is still a need to because the stroke game is what distinguishes good sex from bad sex. 

Men who are great at stroking have better sex than men who are not.

So, you have got to learn when to stroke

10. Being Too Rough

Of course, some roughness comes in handy from time to time. But being too rough? That is something most women are going to say no to. It makes things very weird. 


These are the things you should not do when in bed with your woman. Avoid these bedroom mistakes.

By Ubong

Ubong Johnson is a medic, writer, and editor whose writings explore the complexities of human interactions. He has been published on The Healing Muse, a journal by Upstate Medical University, Blood and Thunder, a journal from Oklahoma University Medical College, and other journals of humanities. Ubong lives in Lagos and is currently undergoing training as a behavioral psychologist.

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