QuietYearning Logo Light



About Us

Contact Us

Sign Up

10 Steps To Building Your Self-Esteem

by | Ideas

May 24, 2020

Many people have low self-esteem because of failure to meet another’s expectations. Some feel they can’t do anything right, while others have low self-esteem because they do not feel exceptional.

Everyone is always waiting for someone to tell them how good they are at something, or how beautiful they look, or whether that dress fits perfectly or not, which most times is not necessary.

Don’t get me wrong, these words of affirmation help to push us to do more or make us feel good about ourselves, but have we ever stopped to tell ourselves these words instead of waiting for someone’s approval? Well, I’m sure we all know the answer is no, otherwise, you won’t be here reading this.

Nobody is ever given birth to with an unlimited level of self-confidence flying through the roof. If you happen to have come across anyone with an incredible level of self-confidence, then he or she must have either worked hard on building that self-confidence. The challenges of life tend to most times deflate our self-confidence.

Every moment someone is going through a phase of having low self-esteem. There are various factors that can influence a person’s self-esteem. 

Factors that can influence a person’s self-esteem

  • Life experiences
  • Social Circumstances
  • Age
  • Health
  • Personality
  • Our thoughts
  • Comparing ourselves to others

When it comes to building your self-esteem everything begins with the mind. What you think about yourself and how you see yourself will determine if you are going to be able to put the effort into being a better version of yourself.

We all hear the famous saying “You can accomplish anything if we believe in yourself”, which is untrue. If it were, children who believed they could fly would be soaring in the skies right now. However, this famous saying to an extent is true.

Furthermore, believing and accepting yourself for who you are is an important factor in every aspect of our lives. From success to relationships, and most especially building your self-esteem. This way we get to believe more in our abilities.

Are you unsure of whether you have high self-esteem or a low one? Here are the characteristics each possesses. From here you can find out which category you belong to.

High self-esteem

  1. You act assertively without guilt and can easily communicate with others.
  2. You reject the attempt of others trying to manipulate you.
  3. You handle criticism without taking it personally.
  4. You appreciate yourself more often.
  5. You dwell more on the present rather than the past because you see the past as a place to learn and not a place to dwell.
  6. You believe in your abilities.
  7. You dwell on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
  8. You value yourself and everything you stand for.

Low self-esteem

  1. You tend to be a people pleaser.
  2. You are highly sensitive to other people’s opinions.
  3. What you do is never good enough.
  4. You doubt every decision you tend to make.
  5. You struggle with being confident.
  6. You often hate yourself.
  7. You doubt your abilities.
  8. You pay more attention to your weaknesses rather than strengths.

If you’re looking at building or boosting your self-esteem, and aiming to view yourself in a more positive light, these ten principles are a must-do.

10 Ways You Can Build Your Self-Esteem

1. Learn to be your number one cheerleader

As I said earlier, everyone wants to be given a word of affirmation, but before you wait for someone to cheer you, you have to first cheer yourself, There is no bigger source of motivation than yourself.

2. Never think or speak negatively about yourself

Sometimes one looks at the mirror and says to themselves ‘ I’m not pretty enough, or you tell yourself you can never make it. Also, words like this will always discourage you from putting your best in whatever you do or looking at yourself in a positive light.

3. Learn to always focus on your potentials and not your limitations

As humans, we all have limitations same as we have potentials, but you don’t have to always focus on where you can’t reach, rather focus on your potentials, which if you grow can help you in exceeding your limitations.

4. Never be afraid of being different, do not be a people pleaser

Most times we tend to please those around us, by changing who we are, or being what they want. Never be afraid to be different because being different is what makes you stand out.

5. Find that particular thing you like and do it well, aim to do it with excellence

Everyone has that particular thing he or she can do with ease, it could be drawing, dancing, singing or any other thing. Find that particular thing you love doing and can do well. Then aim at doing it with excellence. This way, you get to see yourself as so much more than you are.

6. Never allow anyone to label you.

Determine your self-worth before others do it for you. There’s a quote I tell myself every time I feel someone is about to put me down and it is “Never allow anyone walks the corridors of your mind with their dirty feet ”.

Also, there are people who like to others who they are or what they should be. Never let that happen. Find out who you are and tell yourself you are that.

7. Learn to handle criticism

Let positive criticism develop you and use it as a source of motivation rather than allowing it to discourage you, take people’s criticism as a source of motivation to become better.

8. You are unique, one-of-a-kind, and original.

Never compare yourself to anyone, and do not settle for being a copy. Furthermore, never try to be like someone else. There is only one of you and that makes you special. 

9. Never beat yourself for your shortcomings

Do not beat yourself for your shortcomings, rather keep them in perspective for you are still a work in progress. Besides, everyone is bound to make mistakes. So never beat yourself down for your shortcomings, because you are a work in progress.

Furthermore, perfection doesn’t happen overnight. We all get better as the days go by.

10. Know yourself

Like they always say, save the best for the last. This last step cannot be overemphasized; there is a feeling of self-fulfillment in knowing who you are and understanding yourself.

There might also be some ups and downs in discovering yourself, but during all these, you’ll be constantly learning new things about yourself.

Moreover, we were all born with potentials waiting to be unfolded. Following the ways outlined above is a step in building your self-esteem.

By Emilie Schleif

Emilie Schleif is a Lifestyle Writer at Whatsdalatest, where she covers all things relationships and wellness—born and raised in La Canada Flintridge. She currently lives in Hamburg and loves running, hiking, and walking with her dog, Jasper.

Read Next

How to keep your phone conversations interesting
How to keep your phone conversations interesting

Some women still prefer phone calls to texts. This was the result of a survey we conducted by email. More than half of the women said they would rather talk to their lover, or a potential lover, on a phone call than through texting. It goes to show that when it comes...

How to Choose the Right Perfume
How to Choose the Right Perfume

Choosing the right perfume can be difficult sometimes. You end up choosing a perfume that you think you like, only for you to go days and weeks in, and find out that it may not have been for you. In this article, we guide you through how to choose the right perfume...

The Anatomy of Nice Guys
The Anatomy of Nice Guys

Nice guys are almost always all the same. There are no special ones. In fact, it is that thought or belief that makes them nice guys in the first place. The "I am special" thought. In this article, we will be showing you the anatomy of nice guys. What makes them nice...

10 types of students you see in every classroom
10 types of students you see in every classroom

In this article, we take some readers down memory lane while also exploring the present but hilarious reality of others. Here are the 10 different types of students that have been over the years. Which are you? 1. The Latecomers These students never arrive early to...

10 Unexpected Things Women Might Find Puzzling About Men
10 Unexpected Things Women Might Find Puzzling About Men

Women often say that men are quite easy to understand. This is not true, most of the time, as there are a number of things women may never know about men. No matter how close they get to these men. In this article, we will be showing you weird things women don't know...

10 different types of people when angry
10 different types of people when angry

Everyone gets angry. But not everyone's expression of anger is the same. Some express anger in very weird and funny ways. Others do so in very dangerous ways. Which one are you? In this article, you will find out. Do not be surprised if you find out that you are a mix...

Get our relationship newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest relationship updates from our team.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest